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“Later, Mom.” He turned and walked out of the room.
It was as close to ‘I love you’ as he gave. Tilly’s heart was full as she returned to her dusting.
“What’s going on here?”
Tilly’s head jerked to the door half an hour later to see Luke leaning up against the doorjamb.
“I’m making this room my office.”
Luke reached for his phone and asked absently, “Why do you need an office?”
Tilly sucked in a breath because she knew Luke was opposed to her working, but she had come to realize it wasn’t just loneliness she felt. Outside of her children, Tilly wanted to have a purpose, a goal. Candice was right. When the kids were gone, what did she have left? If she could find fulfillment in a job, her husband should support her. Gage would have.
“I’m going to work up designs for a local landscaping company.”
Luke’s attention shifted to her. “Since when?”
“Since I hired them to do work in our yard, and they liked what they saw.”
“We talked about this. The kids are your priority.”
Tilly wasn’t going to take the bait and fight with him. She needed this, and frankly, if he knew her at all, he would know it. “It’s only a few designs. Nothing big.”
Her hope was it would turn into a full-time position, but she didn’t share that because part of what was motivating her was the realization that she was completely beholden to her husband. She had no way of supporting herself and that could make a person feel not just helpless but trapped. If she learned nothing else from her time with Gage, she’d learned that she deserved more. She deserved to be happy, he wanted that for her, so she was taking steps to get there.
He studied her for a minute, his expression softening. “You look happy.”
She almost laughed. She wasn’t happy; outside of her kids, she struggled every day with finding happy, but this job was a step in the right direction. That he noticed at all surprised her. How far they had fallen. At one time, they knew each other inside and out, every expression, and now, he could look at her and not seen the pain, the loneliness, the longing. It was for the best because it wasn’t for him that she felt those things.
She held his gaze and lied, “I am.”
“That’s good.” He said, tenderness in his voice that was jarring to Tilly because she hadn’t heard that in his tone in a long time. The moment didn’t last when he added, “As long as it doesn’t keep you from your responsibilities here.”
Tilly bit her lip; the one eighty from him had harsh words rushing up her throat but she choked them down. She had to remind herself that Luke hadn’t changed, she had.
“I’m working later, pulling an all-nighter.”
There was a time those words would have made her sad, now she felt relief. “Dinner is almost done.”
“Okay.” Luke said, and started from the room but stopped and said, “Don’t wear yourself too thin, Tillian.” It was like being on a rollercoaster, tenderness to irritation to concern. “You’re already pushing it.” He looked up at her and smiled. “Maybe instead of drawing, you should treat yourself and hit the gym.”
He walked away before she could respond, not that she had a response. It wasn’t just anger that burned through her, hurt was there, too. Most of it was directed at Luke, but there was some reserved for her. She was the one who allowed her life to become this. Had she never met Gage, she’d still be content with the crumbs her husband dropped. She wasn’t content anymore. She was downright unfucking satisfied, but she could do something about that. This was her life, and damn it, she wanted more.
_______________
Gage walked into the bank, eyes moving around to find his wife.
“Hi, Gage,” Sandy said as he moved to the counter.
He gave her a chin lift before he asked, “Where’s Heather?”
“Oh,” she expressed. “You just missed her, she went to lunch with Warren and Maryanne.”
Gage nodded, patted the counter and offered. “Thanks.” He started for the door, stopped and asked. “Where?”
Sandy waved a hand toward the left. “The sandwich shop down the road.”
Gage started for the door again. “Thanks,” he shouted, before exiting the building.
