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I stilled. “What about me?”
“Do you want kids one day?”
The question was out of the blue. “Yeah, I think so. I haven’t really gotten that far. I’m still trying to figure out where my life is headed, never mind a husband and kids. I thought I had it all figured out once upon a time, but I was wrong.”
I told Aaron about my modeling career and how it just wasn’t for me. I didn’t like how everything was rushed, how my appearance meant everything, how I started worrying about every wrinkle, every pound, every little thing that wasn’t perfect.
“Now, I’m working forPlacementwhile I try to figure out my life,” I said. “And I’m terrified that I’ll never get to that point. I feel so lost sometimes. I feel like I should be better and more put together at this point in my life, which is crazy because it’s the same feeling I was trying to get away from when I left modeling.”
The wine made me truthful, and I drained the last bit of my glass.
Aaron got up and offered to pour me more. I wanted to say no, at first, but then I realized there was no reason not to. We were already talking about serious things, I’d said more than I’d meant to, and it wasn’t like I had to drive home after this.
Aaron suggested we move to the living room, and I curled up on the couch with my wine in hand, tucking my feet underneath me.
“You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself,” Aaron said.
I looked up at him over the rim of my wineglass and took a sip. “You’re not the first person to tell me that.”
“You just haven’t found where you belong yet. That doesn’t mean you failed. It just means that you’re still waiting to start your race.”
“It’s such a forgiving way of looking at it,” I said.
“There’s nothing to forgive. You’re free to do just what you want.” Aaron shifted a little closer. “Don’t let your expectations trip you up. You are your own worst enemy.”
I studied Aaron. He was so different than I’d thought at first. I’d thought he was a pain, a grumpy man who got what he wanted and to hell with everything else. He was nothing like that. He was a nice guy who had a lot to deal with in his life.
The wind howled outside, and the storm grew thicker, still. Inside, it was cozy and warm, and I felt sheltered, not only from the storm but from my life out there. Here, we were completely removed from it.
Aaron leaned a little closer. I relished in the warmth radiating from him. He hooked a stray hair behind my ear.
“I love your hair up like this,” he said softly.
“Yeah?” I touched my hand to my ponytail.
“I love your hair any way you wear it, actually.”
I smiled and blushed lightly.
The wine ran through my veins, making my skin burn hot, and the warmth ran through my body, pooling between my legs. I tried to push it away. I wasn’t supposed to feel anything for Aaron. I wasn’t supposed to want him as much as I did.
Aaron reached behind my head and pulled my scrunchie out so that my hair fell loose around my shoulders. He ran his fingers through it. His eyes locked on mine.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m not fighting it anymore,” he said.
“Why?” I asked. My throat was dry.
“Because I’ve been pushing myself away for so long, giving everyone else what they need, I decided it’s time to be a little selfish. I want you.”
“Aaron,” I started. I had all the reasons lined up for why this wouldn’t work. He was my boss. I was his employee. I was lying to him about who I was, on top of it all. He had Ben. He needed someone in his life who had their shit more together than I did. He was Aaron Steele, one of Seattle’s most eligible bachelors, and I was just…me.
What about the fact that Aaron didn’t hold on to a girl for very long? What if, after all this, he just discarded me?
I had a long list of reasons I had to pull away and stop this, but when his eyes locked on mine, his fingers tightened in my hair, and he leaned forward to kiss me, the list was forgotten.
I closed my eyes and lost myself in the feel of his lips against mine. His tongue slid into my mouth, tasting and probing. I cupped his cheek, and he groaned, the sound an incredible turn-on.
