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“I hope you’re right.”
“This is just a slump, a rough patch. Things won’t be bad forever.”
The oven timer pinged, and Olivia’s eyes brightened. “That’s the cake. We’ll just let it cool, and then we’ll decorate the shit out of it.”
She skipped to the kitchen, and I smiled despite myself. Maybe Olivia was right. This was just a slump. All I had to do was claw my way out of it, figure out my direction in life, and then everything would be different.
Right now, it felt like an impossible task, but we would take it one step at a time. I had to figure out what I wanted to do with my life, and then I had to close my eyes and jump. I didn’t need a man in my life to be successful and happy, right? I just needed time and people standing by my side, and I had that.
I would figure it out eventually.
But first, cake.
18
AARON
SabrinawantedtomeetBen, as after I’d told Jade I would pick Ben up from school, I’d considered letting her meet him. I’d changed my mind at the last minute. How could I do that to him?
I’d never lied to him about Sabrina and where she was. I’d never told him some heroic story about how she’d died doing something wonderful or told him that she’d wanted to be with him but couldn’t, or any of the other silly stories people throughout my life had suggested I tell him.
I’d always believed that for him to know who he was and where he was headed in life, he had to know where he came from. Lying to kids didn’t sit well with me.
Making him meet her without any warning wasn’t right, either. It would have turned everything upside down for him.
So, I’d argued with Sabrina and her lawyer that we needed time to figure this out. Sabrina had been a bitch about it, not wanting to see my side and making ridiculous demands. Howard Moses had understood. When I’d told him that it would be safer for Ben if I talked to him first, he’d convinced Sabrina, too. At least, despite being on her side, Moses was the type of man who focused on the child’s needs first and foremost, and he was against anything that would cause damage.
This would cause a lot of damage to Ben.
“Hi, Mom,” I said when I stopped at my parents’ house in the middle of the week.
“Grandma!” Ben cried out and hugged my mom.
“Hello, you handsome little devil,” Mom said, kneeling to hug him. “Go say hi to Grandpa. He’s in the living room with Uncle Richard.”
Ben ran inside, and Mom turned to me, her eyes worried.
“How have you been?”
I shook my head. “Not good. This whole thing is fucked up. I don’t even know where to start with her.”
“That woman better stay away from our family, or I’ll get more than just a family lawyer on her case.” She bristled, eyes turning hard.
“She has some rights,” I said. “That’s what really gets me––after all these years, she gets to walk in and stand on her rights. We’ll figure it out. She’s not the only one who can get a lawyer.”
Mom nodded. “I’m glad you’re fighting it. Do you want to come in for a bit?”
I shook my head. “If you don’t mind, I’m going to take off. I’m going to clear my head.” The last thing I wanted was to sit with my mom and dad, who were equally pissed off about Sabrina, or my brother and his snide remarks. I didn’t have what it took to face him right now––my life was complicated enough without all his bullshit getting in the way.
“Of course,” Mom said. “Have a good night, okay? Try not to overthink things. I know it’s hard, but we’re going to get through this.”
I nodded. I wanted to believe her. I just wished we were already on the other side with this nasty business behind us.
Hell, I wished it would never have happened at all.
I got into my car and drove through the city. I had no idea what I wanted to do. A part of me wanted to go to Noah and ask him for advice, but I couldn’t deal with him right now, either. He had everything together––his life was perfect. I didn’t want to be reminded of that. He and Ava stood together as parents, and Noah never had to worry about her taking Warner away from him.
I couldn’t talk to Gunner, either. He and Maddison were happy––they were probably going to get engaged soon––but they didn’t have kids. Gunner wouldn’t understand, and his advice wouldn’t help me.
