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“Remind me why you don’t tap that,” I said, unscrewing the wine bottle and pouring half a glass for each of us.
“We’re just friends,” Jess said.
“You’re just friends,” I pointed out. “He definitely feels a lot more than that.”
“Stop it.” Jess held the glass I offered her and took a sip. “How’s work?”
I nodded. “Yeah, good. Sometimes, I don’t know why the hell we bother with this nonprofit shit. I mean, it would make sense to get a well-paying job at a company with money, right? That way, I can get promoted, and I wouldn’t be limited by what Tamara can manage.”
“So, do something else,” Jess said and took a sip of her wine.
“Yeah, maybe. You always tell me that, but would it fulfill me?”
“Passion,” Jess said, crinkling her nose, “is not something money can buy. You don’t have what it takes to become a corporate drone, anyway. You’re different, Lex.”
I nodded. Jess was right—I’d always been a little different. I hated that I couldn’t fit in with the cool girls. They laughed at my handmade macramé bookbag and teased me when I was the only one who chose the veggie burger in the school cafeteria. I was never accepted for being me.
Now, ten years later, I realized that I didn’t have to change myself to fit in with the wrong crowd. I’d just needed to find the right one.
I spent time with people who loved nature and cared about animal wellbeing. I drank green tea, I took daily probiotics, and I did yoga.
Working at Savasana Soul Sanctuary, a nonprofit center that cared about the environment and anything that was organic, had been like coming home.
The only person from my past life was Jess. But she was like a sister to me. We’d grown up in the same foster home, and we’d been attached at the hip since that first night my foster mom had taken me in.
She was the only one I didn’t feel uncomfortable around. I wasn’t good in social situations, but Jess was different. She got me.
“Tamara found an article for me about a large piece of land that’s going up for auction. It will be perfect for that holistic healing getaway I was telling you about.”
“The one outside town? With the ocean views?”
“That’s the one,” I said. “I know Tamara doesn’t have a lot of cash lying around, but I think if we petition for a rezoning, they’ll go for it. They’re really starting to focus on going green, and the city council might just go for it.”
Jess lifted her glass. “Here’s to the city council.”
“And holistic healing,” I said.
“And passion,” Jess added.
We clinked our glasses together. “Speaking of passion ... Danny’s looking at you.”
Jess snorted. “We’re just friends. I’m not the one who should focus on dating. I’ve been doing just that. You, on the other hand ...”
“Oh, no,” I said, shaking my head firmly. “We’re not going there again. I told you it’s not for me. I have other things to focus on.”
I didn’t have to tell her that guys just didn’t understand me. And I didn’t fit in with whatever image they wanted. I wasn’t like the other women who wore their confidence like a second skin—knew when to smile, when to say something funny, and when to let their eyes do the talking. Somehow, I always botched small talk, and I didn’t know how to be the perfect combination of interesting and adorable.
“One day, some guy is going to sweep you off your feet, and you’ll look back and wonder how on earth you survived this long without love.”
“Rather without love than with heartbreak,” I said.
Jess chuckled and shook her head, sipping more wine.
“One day, Lex.”
“I’ll start dating when you give Danny a chance; how’s that?” I teased.
Jess rolled her eyes. “On second thought, maybe you really are better off alone.”
