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“Well, I can’t believe I confided in you that he calls oral sex ‘the cure.’ It totally helps with the cramps, though.” I shoot her the evil eye.
“If he’s anything like Ty, I’m sure going down on you isn’t a hardship for him.”
“Yeah. I guess we’re lucky our rock stars are both down with the swirl.”
We giggle profusely.
“So, are you still loving being a mom?” She gazes dreamily at me.
“I am.” My eyes unexpectedly moisten for the second time today. “Lena is truly the light of my life.”
Zoey swoons. “See? That’s what I want too. I’m a little jealous of you guys. I want to have a baby so bad. Then our kids can grow up together.”
The thought warms my heart. “That would be so cool. But you did say youhopeyou’re ready. Just remember, it’s not easy.” I dunk a piece of buttered sourdough bread into the creamy chowder and savor.
“Well…” She wrinkles her nose. “Here’s what I keep coming back to. Are you ever ready? We have some things to work out, but we’ll get there.”
“You don’t sound convinced.” I scrutinize her expression. Even though Ty’s a great guy and they are soulmates and everything, they’ve had so much drama in their relationship. As the band’s de facto social media guy, Jace has spent hundreds of hours trying to deal with it. I know how much he’s over it.
She looks out the window and then back at me with conviction. “No, Iamcompletely convinced. Ty and I are solid. We’renotthe same immature kids anymore. The wedding is happening. So’s a baby. Right now? I’m so incredibly happy you’re going to be my maid of honor.”
“I’d kill you if it wasn’t me, you realize,” I joke, but I’m shocked when an emotion I’m not used to washes over me. Envy. Jace and I might be engaged, but I’ve been reluctant to set a date. It freaks me out a bit. “What do you need me to do?”
She shrugs. “Not much. It’s such a tiny wedding. Only the band, us gals, the kids, and my folks. Maybe Carter. And your mom if she’s free. Maybe you could help me pick out my dress and some bridesmaid dresses next weekend?”
“Done.” We grip each other’s hands and squeal for a second.
Zoey and I spend the rest of the afternoon chatting about her world travels. My challenges trying to get through my certification program for horse therapy. Connor and Ronni’s adorable infant twin sons. Fiona’s restaurant. The future of LTZ. All in all, the perfect afternoon.
By the time we’ve exhausted our conversation, it’s dark outside and my cramps are back in full force. When we stand to go, I double over in pain and plop back down. Rummage through my bag to find the 222s. “Gawd, I’m so sick of this. I can’t wait to find out what the doctor thinks is going on.”
“I’m so glad you’re not ignoring this anymore, Alex. Better to be safe than sorry.” Zoey helps me to the car. “Trust me, it feels empowering to take control of the situation.”
“Yeah.” A quick pang of fear roils in my gut, but I tamp it down. I’m in the best shape of my life. Jace and I eat super healthy. We’re active. Bad cramps are likely just hereditary. My mom’s lived with it her whole life. And my sister. It’s not going to be anything serious. How could it be?
We say our goodbyes and by the time I pick up Lena, catch the ferry back and get home, I’m exhausted, but at least the medication has kicked in.
“There’s my girls,” Jace greets us at the door and takes Lena. “I missed you.”
After he puts her to bed, he joins me on the porch where I’m waiting with a couple glasses of Catherine Syrah from XOBC Cellars. We clink our glasses together. “So, they’re trying for a baby.”
“Oh?” Jace keeps his voice neutral.
“Yeah.”
He digs his thumbs into my soles. “I’m glad. It will be nice for Lena to have other kids around. Connor suggested that when we start touring again, we make it family friendly and bring the kids. A lot of bands do it, I think it’s a great idea.”
We sit in silence for a bit as he works on my foot massage.
“After we’re married, should we be thinking about giving Lena a sibling?” I say it so quietly I’m not sure if Jace hears me. The topic of having our own children is always a bit, well, delicate. Because of me and my past stance on not wanting kids. A little part of me wonders if that’s the reason why it took so long for Jace to propose. After my day with Zoey and her excitement about getting pregnant, I can’t help asking.
Jace keeps working on my foot. His voice is equally quiet. Unsure. “Are you saying you want to have a baby?”
“I know I was adamant…before.” I let the admission hang in the air.
His mouth sets in a grim line. He shuts his eyes and sighs. “Are we able to talk about it without getting our feelings hurt?”
“I hope so. I thought once we adopted Lena you’d realize… But I guess we’ve never had a conversation about having our own children.”
