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And no alien invasion is going to get in my way.
Well, we’ve gone all out on Christmas shit this year.
Alex insisted. She doubled down after our visit with the specialist. Oh, I know it’s a diversion. For God’s sake, our house looks like it’s exploded with holiday decorations. Alex, Becca, and Jen have covered nearly every bush and shrub with twinkly lights. Inflatable Santa and his inflatable reindeer are tacked up to the roof of the barn.
Poor Mitch got his picture taken wearing an elf costume, much to the delight of Lena.
I suppose it’s all worth it to see my daughter gleefully enjoy the holidays. It’s a far cry from last year when I was agonizing over whether or not I was her biological father. Back then, I didn’t want her to be mine.
Now, I can’t imagine my life without her.
Since her appointment, Alex has been on a low dose of hormones which, together with her birth control pills, seem to be just barely controlling her pain. At least her cramps aren’t nearly at the level they were.
I still feel conflicted. I didn’t want her to go through invasive surgery. Not if it’s only to give us a chance to conceive a baby I’m not sure she wants.
On the other hand, Dr. Madison has given her some hope and has been clear about the challenges. Surgery will allow her to get a sense of the depth and location of her endometriosis, which from the ultrasound seems to be everywhere. She also plans to remove the lesions using badass cutting-edge techniques.
Gah. What do I know? When Alex asked me how I’d feel if my balls were ravaged with welts, I took her point. As I’m settling into the idea, I don’t see any reason for her not to get it done, I guess.
All I want is for us to grow old together.
I can’t lose her.
I won’t risk losing her.
All of these thoughts swirl through my mind as I steer my truck toward home. A couple of hours ago, I went out for an errand and found myself thirty miles away. I needed to take a drive to clear my head. Not the smartest move when we have guests coming.
Mitch greets me at the end of our long, gravel driveway. I scratch him behind the ears and notice Zane waiting for me on the porch. No matter where he goes, he looks like a rock star. Today is no exception. He lowers his aviator glasses when he jumps up to greet me. “My man. What took you so long? You missed lunch. Fee left your food in the fridge.”
“Sorry I’m so late. I had to go to a store three towns over to find bubble-gum ice cream.” I grab the grocery bag from the passenger seat. “Who the hell even likes this shit?”
Zane snatches the bag from my hand and peeks inside. “Uh, everyone.”
“Where are all of the ladies?” I glance around the yard.
“In the barn. They’re getting the horses ready for pictures.” Zane follows me into the house, where I put the ice cream in the freezer and some cupcakes on the counter.
I hand him a cold beer. “Whatcha doin’ for Christmas?”
“Fee’s cooking. Faye will be there.” He rolls his eyes. “Carter and Mom too.”
“They’re back together then?”
He shrugs. “Who the hell knows. She’s not making it easy on him. My dad’s like a lost puppy around her.” Zane begins to fidget. He’s not a man who can stay still exceedingly long.
“Well, let’s see what’s up. Who knows what will happen if we leave them alone this long,” I joke, holding the door ajar for him.
We creep as silently as possible into the barn, mainly so we can spy a little. The sight is breathtaking if I do say so myself. Alex, Fiona, Mia, and Lena are in the modest indoor arena we just finished. Alex is working with Samantha, a gorgeous little palomino who’d been neglected and left for dead at a ranch a couple of towns over. Gloria, our first rescue, stands close by.
“What is she doing?” Zane whispers.
I watch Alex in awe. Ever since I took her to Cavalia, she’s spent hours training the horses. “It’s called liberty training. She doesn’t use any tack, halters, or ropes. She’s working to give the horse a sense of choice rather than the old-school method of ‘breaking’ them in. The technique gives both Alex and the horse a sense of freedom. It helps her create a type of bond where she’s able to train advanced horsemanship skills.”
“You’ve taken to life out here, J-man.” Zane doesn’t take his eyes off Alex’s impressive show.
“I have.”
“Daddy!” Mia spots Zane and comes barreling toward us. He scoops her up in his arms and blows a giant zerbit on her cheek.
