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“So you feel obligated.” I can’t help uttering these hurtful words. Immediately, I regret what I’ve said. Well, regret is probably too strong. Idowant to know if there’s some small part of him that does feel that way.
He shakes his head and looks at the porch. “God, Poppy. I’m pouring my heart out to you. Telling you my deepest thoughts about how you make me feel, and you think that equates to beingobligated?”
“Do you, though?” I squeeze my eyes shut so I can’t see his face.
“No, I don’t feel fuckingobligated. But I do fucking missyou.” He scrubs the stubble on his chin with his hand. “I don’t mean to sound like an asshole, but is it possible for you to stop with the woebegone stuff? You’re stillyou. If you could see what I saw…the way you were with the girls today? That was one hundred percent Alex fucking LeRoux. Plus, we don’t know anything definite yet. Maybe stop imagining the worst-case scenario?”
I want to shrink into myself because I hate how insecure I’m being. I hate how much this diagnosis is affecting my mental health. I don’t answer him because I can’t find the words.
Jace blows out a long breath and leans back, slipping his arm back around me. “If you’re having issues with depression, then let’s set up some time with Lisa Kinkaid. Or someone else you feel comfortable with. It’s totally understandable, Poppy. I’m sorry I’m pushing you if you’re not ready.”
I grip his wrist. “No. I’m sad, but I don’t think I’m depressed. I’m mostly scared. Or maybe even angry at myself for not dealing with this sooner. For possibly creating a situation that can’t be reversed.”
We both lean back on the couch. It’s such a relief to talk this out and not keep it inside. “What I was trying to tell you very ineloquently is that I’ll honor your wishes.” Jace’s voice is calmer now, soothing. “I believe it when you say you’ve changed your mind about having kids. I want to stop being scared shitless so I can support you having the surgery. There’s nothing I want other than to put all of this behind us. Mostly, I just want you to know that, as far as I’m concerned, this diagnosis doesn’t define you. It doesn’t defineus.”
“I just want it out of my bawd-eeeee,” I groan, drawing the word out. “I want it G.O.N.E gone.”
“Okay. I’m on board. Let’s get it gone.” He traces my eyebrow with his finger.
On a whim, I scramble to straddle him. Without missing a beat, he grips my ass and pulls me flush against him. I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my face in his hair. “I love you, Jace Deveraux.”
“Thank God. I was beginning to wonder.” He smirks as he trails a hand down my back and deftly pulls up my shirt. I raise my arms above my head and he yanks it all the way off, leaving me topless. My nipples pucker into tight nuggets from the cool air. Or, maybe in anticipation of us finding our way back to who we once were.
Our mouths slam together with sloppy, hurried kisses. A mash of soft lips and sharp teeth. He nips my chin and I push his face to my breast. I want everything he has to give me. Jace’s lips kiss down my throat, then latch on to my nipple. He sucks hard then swirls his tongue around it soothingly. A nibble. A lick. A suck. Each so incredibly tantalizing as he makes his way across my chest and worships my other breast with equal enthusiasm.
Oh, how I needed this. Another moment in time like we used to have. Before things got so complicated.
I grip his waist, slide my hands up under his armpits and clutch his back to give me enough leverage to grind my core against his erection. My knees squeeze his hips. My head lolls back as I get lost in the dual stimulation. He cups each breast, thumbing my nipples to keep them taut. He kisses his way back up to my face and devours my lips again. Gawd, the unbridled pleasure that washes over my body.
Pleasure I’ve denied myself for too long.
When he stops abruptly, my eyes spring open to find him studying me. “Alex, I need you. Need this. But are you on board? I want to fuck you hard.Reallyhard.”
“God, yes.” I cant my hips to create friction with his cock. I want to show him how okay I am with all of this. He presses on my lower back so there’s no space between our lower bodies. He’s harder than a titanium rod. A porch light flicks on over at Becca and Jen’s. “Maybe we should take this inside.”
I’m barely able to grab my shirt to cover myself before Jace drags me through the door, past the kitchen, the cats, and into our bedroom. He locks it behind us, we kick off our shoes and in one precise move he sheds his hoodie and undershirt to stalk me like a cheetah. Giggling, I back up and toss the shirt at him. “Oh, is that how it is?” He pounces and we flop to the bed.
Bare chest to bare chest, the heat between us is like a roaring campfire. Our hands roam and grope. He reaches between us to unbuckle my belt. I fumble with his in the race to de-clothe ourselves. He manages to get my jeans unbuttoned and wastes no time slipping his fingers under my panties and inside me. I’m sopping wet, he has no trouble finding the magic spot inside, just past my G-spot. Jace sucks and licks my earlobe in cadence with his rubs, flicks, and presses.
Oh, I know what he’s up to, Jace loves doing this sure-thing rockstar trick on me. Occasionally, when he goes all in on this technique, I squirt. When I do, it’s like he’s won the lottery. Soaking him is like a special prize to my sexy drummer.
My orgasm crashes through me so hard my teeth chatter. He withdraws his fingers for a moment to tug my jeans and panties off. I use the opportunity to sit up and slide his track pants down his hips. His cock bobs against his cut abs a mere millimeter from my lips. Without a second thought, I suck him down my throat. Swallow around his crown and work my way up his shaft. He grips my cheeks and fucks my face a bit, it’s so intense.So incredibly intense.
“If I don’t stop now, I’m going to come.” He pulls out and presses my chest to the bed so I’m lying back against the pillows. I allow my knees to fall against the sheets, giving him an unobstructed view of my pussy. When I’m this wet, he loves the view. I pinch my nipples and lick my lips. “You’re so goddamn perfect, Alex.” Jace reinserts his fingers to the hilt. I dig my heels into the bed and wait for magic.
Spreading me with the fingers of his other hand, he bends to wiggle his tongue on my clit while manipulating my secret spot. Ah, holy hell. Electricity shoots through my entire body. An invisible wire of such monumental pleasure it should be illegal. Gawd, it probablyisillegal. My second orgasm is followed by a third, fourth, and fifth in succession, each consuming me with pleasure that cannot be described. He is relentless, rubbing the spot. I bear down. My head thrashes. My hands clench his shoulders when I gush all over his face, his fingers, and the bed. I shove my fist against my mouth to try to stifle the sound of the keening moan I’m emitting from deep in my soul.
Every nerve is alive. Every sense is heightened. Jace sits back on his knees and smiles, his face coated with…well, me. He leans over and shoves his hands under my ass, pulling me on top of him so I’m basically in his lap. He guides his cock inside me just as I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my face in his hair. He’s smells so amazing. Sandalwood and sea. Jace controls the pace, slamming me down on him. Faster. Harder. I hang on for the ride. “Fuck me, Jace. God, harder. Harder.”
We haven’t fucked like this for so long. Even on the night of our engagement.
It’s cleansing.
Jace changes tactics and slows things way down so we’re moving as one. Our bodies are smashed together tightly. My legs are locked around his butt. His wide palms span my back and press me into him. His cock is so deep inside me. We stare into each other’s eyes. I’ve not felt this connected to him since my diagnosis, but it’s not his fault. He’s my everything. “I love you, Jace. I hope you know how much you make my life complete.”
“Poppy, there’s no limit to how much I love you.” Jace tightens his arms around me and grips both of my ass cheeks to pick up the pace again. He rolls us over and fucks me with abandon. I watch his thick cock pound into me, which makes me even wetter than I am already. The entire room smells like our sex. I watch his orgasm tear through his body, it’s so fucking hot I can’t even stand it. First his jaw goes slack, then his tattooed arms lock on either side of me. His eyes squeeze shut as he throws his head back and I’m filled with his come, the supply of which never seems to end.
I can’t help but clench around him as I come for the sixth time, an absolute record. We stay joined for a while, not for any reason. Well, unless you factor in neither of us can move.
