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Whatever this even is.
It’s like the beginning of a nightmare, and I don’t know how I will make it out alive.
Running my hands over my face, I heave in a breath and make one of the most impulsive decisions of my life.
Instead of trying to make it like I have been the last few years, I’m going home.
To where I know the streets, where I can have the support of my parents, and where I can start this life over.
It’s dealt me a hard blow, and it’s going to take me a while to come back, but there’s nothing I do better than rise from the ashes.
CHAPTERTWO
HOLLY
“You’re gonna be okay, right?”
Sighing, I turn to my co-worker of the last five years. We started here together, meeting on our first day of orientation. Throughout our time with the company, we’ve moved along with one another as we’ve climbed higher in the organization.
Until now.
While I'm losing my job, he's going to be taking on double the work. The fact that he's worried about me when his duties are about to be harder warms me. I've been cold since Camden left me at the altar. Finally, someone seems to be worried about me.
Instead of reacting to it the way I want to, I shrug. "I have to be." He'd been at the wedding that wasn't and had seen me run out with my tail between my legs.
"Christmas is in soon, and I'm worried about you."
I’m worried about me, too.Instead, I give him a fake smile. “I’ll be fine. I’m going back home. Ya know, where all the streets are familiar, old classmates will see me at the store, and my parents. It’s passed time.”
“It’s still shitty the way all this went down.”
I couldn’t agree more, but there’s nothing I can do about it. With a disgruntled sigh, I throw the last of my personal belongings into the one box I was given to clean out my desk. Five years and all I have here is enough to fit in one box. While my apartment had a few more boxes, it was still sad to see how little I’ve accumulated in my time away from Blizzard Bluff. It's hitting me as I'm looking at my meager belongings and wondering what I've done. Doubting myself in what my plan had been when I left. What have I accomplished?
Right now it feels like nothing.
Never in my life have I felt so small, so invisible. But I guess that’s what happens when not only is your heart broken, but you’re completely disappointed in the people who should’ve been there for you.
“Good luck to you,” I manage to get through my tight throat. “Hopefully I’m the last of the employees they’re looking to get rid of. Otherwise, you’re next up on the chopping block.”
I don’t allow him time to say anything back to me before grabbing my box and turning to leave the office. This place where I thought my dreams were coming true, where I had hoped to build a future. It’s all coming crashing down on me. One last look around the four white walls, and then I leave.
It takes everything I have to hold my head high while walking out the door. But as soon as I make it into the cold air, my knees buckle, and it's only with luck that I don't hit the concrete. Tears start as soon as I know I'm far enough away none of them can hear or see me. Sobs wrack my body, my chest heaving.
The last few weeks have been the worst of my life.
Left at the altar.
Honeymoon was given to my best friend and her husband.
Now I’ve lost my job.
At the end of my rope would be an appropriate way to describe my life right now. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned. No one can fix what’s broken other than me. Getting to my car is no easy feat. Neither is getting in, buckling my seatbelt, and having the courage to leave what I once thought was a perfect life.
When people show you who they are, believe them.
I saw that on Facebook. Someone else going through a breakup posts memes every day. They're always about how she's strong and better off without the man who ruined her life.
I refuse to be the person who puts their shit out there in public, but I do see them. I commit them to memory, and in my moments of weakness, I repeat them back. I remind myself I'm not the first person this has happened to, and I look forward to the day when this doesn't hurt so much.
