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I missed dinner, opting to study instead, and the apple and salad I had for lunch has long worn off. My stomach growls, so I move into the kitchen and make a bowl of cereal. I never liked this cereal until it was around all the time when I lived with Harbor.
Sitting on the couch, I switch on the TV, hoping to switch off my mind. But evenPretty Womancan’t turn my thoughts around when it finally sinks in that Harbor is out there.
He’s here.
Somewhere.
Oh God, what have I done?I set the bowl on the coffee table and hurry for the door. But I stop and return to put the bowl on a coaster, and then make a run for him. I don’t care that I’m in my socks or that I have to take the stairs. I take them anyway. I just need to get to him, to hear his side of the story. I push through the lobby and rush to the sidewalk.
Left.
Then right.
I look left again and then across the street. But there’s no sign of him. How can that be? I threw two small hurdles his way, and he doesn’t even try to jump them? Not even for me? Why’d he come back to New Haven, then?
Huffing a loud and exhaustive breath, I don’t know if I feel defeated or deflated.Both, actually.When I turn around, I see his car parked down the street, and my feet stay, not willing to move despite my head’s better judgment to do so.
He doesn’t get out, but I see his silhouette in the driver’s seat.
For a second, I smile, and my hand raises slightly from my side as if I’d seen a long-lost friend, before I catch myself and lower it again. I guess I have, his words playing back on a lowlights reel.“You look lost.”
I am.
More than I realized until now.
I turn toward the door and open it. This time, I walk awayfromhim.
Two Years Later.
42
Lark
“I thinkthe blue dress is pretty, but the red reads sexy doctor alert.”
“Amanda,” I whisper, “my dad is in the next room. The last thing he wants to hear about is his daughter being sexy.”
She stands from the bed, glancing from the door back to me. “He’s going to hear about it eventually because you, my friend, are smokin’ hot.” She touches the tip of her finger to her ass and sizzles. “Pure fire.”
I can’t stop laughing. “You need to visit more often. You’re good for my self-esteem.” I give in to the fun and wiggle my hips. I look in the mirror, running my hands over my hips where the curve is more pronounced. My breasts are a little fuller. My hair, just below my shoulder blades, is longer than I’ve worn it since I was little.
The skintight dress doesn’t allow me to hide any flaws. I could have slipped on shapewear to flatten my stomach, but I don’t mind the natural shape. Amanda’s right. I smile, staring back at not only the doctor I’ve become, but I do look like pure fire.
“You talked me into it. I’m going with the red.” This is a nice departure from my usual uniform of a sweatshirt and leggings. I’m glad I splurged . . . well, bought it with one of the gift cards. Wearing this dress does make me feel sexy and a little bad under the good-girl graduation gown.
“Wise choice.” Walking toward the bedroom door, she says, “We’re heading over to the auditorium. I want a good seat so I can see.”
“Don’t stress about it. You see me all the time.”
“Who says I was talking about seeing you? I’m going to be in a room full of doctors. I bet a few cuties are looking for a girlfriend.”
I laugh as I go back into the bathroom for one last touch-up. “Geez, thanks,” I tease. I lean in and then grab a washrag. Amanda said I needed to look the part of a doctor, but judging by how heavy she layered on the makeup, I think she’s confusing nightclubbing with making hospital rounds. I tone it down just a little to find more of me under it all.
I slip on my heels, then dig through my small bag as I walk into the living room. “I can’t fit much in here. Look, my phone and lip gloss. That’s about it.”
“Umm, Lark.”
“What is it?” I dig my ID out of my wallet, then one of the gift cards I’ve been spoiled with the last four years, shoving them both in my crossbody purse. Maybe I shouldn’t have come to rely on that money, but it served its purpose, which I assume was to make my life a little easier. I didn’t need to get a job or skip buying a book that I needed to study. I’ve also saved half of the cards. One day, I’ll give them back, fully loaded again.
