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If I’m not ever given the chance, I’ll mail them to Harbor’s parents, from whom I received the sweetest card and money order for five-hundred bucks to help me settle into the next stage of life. Marina added at the bottom—or to take a vacation.
I like her way of thinking. I could use a break, but my residency starts next week. No rest for the weary and I’m definitely weary.
When I realize Amanda still hasn’t replied, I look up.
A large blue box with silver trim and gray ribbons stands upright on my table, blocking my view of her. “What is that?” I ask, clutching my purse with both hands.
From the couch, my dad says, “Just got delivered.” He starts clicking through the TV stations like he’s going to be here for a while. “Let me know when you’re ready.”
Amanda and I exchange a look, both of us blinking quickly for some reason. You’d think we’d never been around fancy boxes before . . .okay, we’ve beenaroundthem, but not so much received them.
There’s no name across the box. Who would send me something that looks this expensive? I ask, “Who is it from?”
“I don’t know.” My friend touches the box like it might bite back. “There’s a card.”
I slip it from under the ribbon and open the small envelope. “I’m so fucking proud of you – H. H.? . . .Oh shit.” I cover my mouth and glance at my dad like I might get in trouble for swearing. “Sorry.”
He laughs, knowing that’s exactly what I did. “Not much I can say about it, Pip. You’re a doctor now.”
And twenty-six, but I’ll always be his little girl.
Holding the card, I read it again.And then again.
My hands don’t shake anymore when I think of Harbor, but my heart still races.
Amanda asks, “Who’s H? . . .Oh shit.” She covers her mouth when it dawns on her, then grabs my wrist like she’s the one who needs support.
I never told her or my dad that I saw him one night, a couple of years back. I don’t know why he came to see me in New Haven. Sometimes I spend hours lying in bed thinking about that night and if I had given him a chance to speak his mind. Not that I owe him a thing. I don’t.
Not for the apartment.
Not for the gift cards.
Not for anything.
I didn’t ask him to do any of it. He did it because he felt guilty for leaving.Plain and simple.So I’m not sure why he’s giving a gift that, knowing him, is expensive, but there is no way in hell I’m keeping it. I look at Amanda, and say, “I thought you guys were going?”
“Not since this arrived. Are you going to open it?”
I’m already shaking my head when I reply, “No. I’m not. I’m going to send it back to him.”
“Who are you sending it back to?” my dad asks, clicking off the TV. He stands and adjusts his waistband before walking to my side and giving me a quick hug.
“To the sender,” I say, keeping it vague. I lift and kiss his cheek, hoping to distract him from the gift. “Thanks for driving in for the ceremony.”
“I wouldn’t miss it.” He walks to the door, holding it open. “You ready, Amanda?”
She grabs her purse and over her shoulder to me, she says, “See you soon,Doctor.”
“Yeah. Yeah,” I say with a soft laugh, my eyes drifting back to the box. “See you soon.”
My gaze dips back down to the card when I’m left alone with it. It’s not full of sweet nothings, but it packs a punch.Harbor always did.
When temptation grows, I warn myself, “Do not open it, Lark.” Nothing good will come of opening a present from him, just like nothing good came from a relationship with him. Though I’m not sure how anything in such a pretty box could sour a mood, I remind myself there’s a hell of a good chance it could affect me negatively, send my emotions spiraling, and ruin this graduation like he did the last one.
Throwing my hands up, I state, “Nope. I’m not doing it,” and walk away to grab my cap and gown. I leave, locking the door behind me. It’s the only way to keep me from tearing that box open.
I hurry across campus, filing in with the others flooding the auditorium. Once I find the other graduates, I take a deep breath to calm down. These heels are torture. Who thought rushing around a large campus would be a good idea? That would be me, guilty as charged. Too late to change my shoes now. Since the other graduates are milling around, I sneak into the bathroom to put on my cap and gown and fix my hair one last time.
