AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I return to my room and grab my phone. No texts or missed calls. Tossing my robe off, I drape it on the bottom of the bed and climb back under the covers. It’s not even nine o’clock, which makes me wonder what time he left.
Sleep would be awesome, but I’m left lying here alone when I thought I’d be waking up with him. Such a disappointment.
The door creaks open. I roll away from it. “I’m sleeping, Amanda.”
“That’s too bad.” His voice is deep, the dulcet tones drawing me to sit up and turn back.
“Harbor?”
Carrying a tray with coffee and a bag on top, he shuts the door behind him. “Did you miss me?” That smile would usually work wonders on me, but the joy in seeing him still competes with the fact I thought he had abandoned me.
“I thought you left.”
“I did.” He sets the tray down on the dresser and pulls a cup from it. “I got us coffee from the shop downtown.”
“No, that’s not what I meant.”
He sits next to me, sets the bag down on the comforter, and hands me the cup. “What did you mean?” But the answer seems to come to him before I can reply. “You thought I left you, like not going for coffee but went home?”
“I—”
“You thought I’d do that to you even after last night?” He stands, the bag forgotten. Running his hand through his hair, he turns away from me.
I felt sick before, but now it’s worse, my guts twisting in knots. I get to my knees and touch his back. “Harbor, I don’t know what to say. I thought you had left.”
He turns back, looking down at me. “You thought the worst of me when I was thinking I would do something nice.”
“I feel terrible.”
“Because of me. You feel terrible because you thought I would sneak out in the night to get away from you.” Taking the bag, he drops it next to me. “No good deed goes unpunished. Enjoy the muffin.”
He’s about to leave, but I say, “Stay, Harbor, and let’s talk about it.”
When he turns back, the disappointment I felt minutes ago is personified in his eyes. I did that to him. The knot in my stomach pulls tighter. I slide down on the mattress again, and say, “Please.” It may only be a whisper of a request, but it reaches him by the way he drops his head.
As if his willpower is lost in the moment, he moves closer and holds me under my chin. He angles my face upward, and our eyes connect in the morning light. “Don’t grovel or make apologies. Not for me or anyone.” His eyes meet mine in a moment of intention. “You’re not a damsel in distress. You never were. So if someone wants to go, don’t beg them to stay.”
“But I misunderstood—”
“I know, but no one is worth sacrificing your pride.”
“Not even you?”
He sits on the bed beside me. “Especially not me.” With his hand on my knee, he sighs. “I’ve disappointed so many people in my life, but I can’t handle disappointing you, Lark. So if I need to walk away to figure some shit out, you need to let me because I won’t be any good for you otherwise.” His arm comes around my shoulders, and he pulls me close. Kissing my head, he then tilts down until he can see my eyes again. “I will always come back to you.”
Statements like those that he makes, ones that are definitive when spoken make me believe him. Through his honesty, I find my own power again. I’ll know what to do and what to expect next time.
But a flicker of pain shelters in the depth of his irises, one that doesn’t belong there. I’m not sure if it’s his trust I broke or the thought that I might have lumped him with his past that hurt him more.
Wrapping my arm around his, I lean my head on his shoulder. “Sometimes sorry isn’t a weakness but a strength. It all depends on the intention behind it. I’m sorry for thinking the worst, Harbor.”
He rubs my leg several times and then looks at me. “Don’t worry about it. As I said, I’m used to it.”
“I don’t want you used to it with me, though.” I sit up straighter, feeling the importance of the moment. “I was thrown, but it wasn’t you who caused me to get upset. It’s stuff that I need to work through.” I cover his hand with mine. “I trust you, Harbor.”
“Thank you.” Flipping his hand, I press our palms together on his leg. “Why did you leap to the worst conclusion first?”
Taking stock of my emotions, I don’t feel so empty with him. “So much has already been said. I think I just want to continue this some other time. Is that okay?”
