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‘You are...insufferable,’ she explained, the flare of surprise in his eyes making her smile. ‘You are, Javier. I love you, but you are a pain in the arse,’ she declared. ‘You are stubborn. You act without thinking, you decide without asking, and you steamroll ahead before you look. But you are also absolutely and without a doubt the love of my life and I am not the same without you. You are passionate, driven, formidable and I wouldn’t change a single thing about you because you are...the half of me that I didn’t know I needed,’ she confessed, tears escaping down both cheeks. ‘And I love you so much it hurts when I’m not with you.’
Javier stared at her, his face unreadable. She swept away one of her tears, the small candle flame of hope that had kept her going since she’d arrived in Spain flickered in the silence. She bit her lip. There had always been the possibility that she’d come too late, that it might not be enough for her to tell him how she felt. Her heart ached and even then she nodded, accepting that she’d tried. Hoping that he might one day at least remember that he was loved for the man he was, not the man someone wanted him to be.
She stood on shaky legs and nodded to herself as tears clouded her eyes. She turned and stepped towards the door, when his hand snuck out to capture her wrist. She paused, not daring to turn, not daring to hope.
‘You say that I am insufferable,’ he accused, guiding her round to face him and pulling her to stand between his legs. Looking down at him, she should have held the power, but the reality was that she was utterly in his thrall. ‘And you are right. I have been and—truthfully—will in all likelihood continue to be stubborn and selfish—’
‘No—’
‘Let me finish,’ he commanded. ‘I...became self-centred out of a need to protect myself, but I am learning that I no longer need that same protection. But I amstillselfish, because I know that I want all of you. I will take whatever you think you can give me and demand more, because you areitfor me. You are what makes me make sense, you are what I get up for in the morning and what I want to go to bed to each night. You could leave me a thousand times and I will always wait for you.’
‘I willneverleave you again,’ she declared passionately.
‘I’m still talking, Emily,’ he said gently.
She looked down, biting her lip but utterly unrepentant.
‘You were worried about losing yourself? You don’t need to. Because you are here,’ he said, thumbing his heart. ‘Always. Whenever you need to find yourself, you arehere. I know this because I am in your heart. Whether you will it or not, that is where I am and where I will stay for ever. I love you to distraction, Emily Casas. And if you’ll agree to nudge me when I forget myself, when I become too autocratic, or selfish—or too much of a “pain in the arse”, then I lay myself at your feet and beg you to stay.’ Javier got to his knees, caught her hands in his and said, ‘And I promise you will never have to ask or beg to be seen or loved ever again.’
Emily met him on the floor and—knee to knee—she placed kisses on his brow, his cheeks, his lips. ‘And you will never have to look for me, because I will never leave your side. I love you, I love you, I love you,’ she said, placing more kisses on his brow, his cheeks, his lips. Mouth to mouth, they professed their love until tears met smiles and heartbeats soared with a conviction and love that was simply transformative.
In the weeks that followed they put most of the house back to the way it had once been. The tablecloth left the gorgeous oak handmade table, the paintings in the living room were taken down and used for one of Emily’s clients, the curtains so disastrously shredded by Diabla were cut down and made into cushion covers in what Emily declared was a stroke of genius and Javier declared was an abomination.
Emily made living in Spain and working in London a seamless affair, commuting twice a month and travelling to clients around the world when necessary. Her staff had come out to Spain for a week-long event that forged long-lasting friendships and working relationships, during which Javier waited on them all hand and foot, showing an interest in her staff and projects that practically made him a member of the team.
Javier had a slightly trickier transition to his lighter workload, but settled into it happily when he began to accompany Emily on her business trips. Gabi had come by for a short visit with so much news and so changed it had set Emily’s head spinning. But it warmed her heart to see how close the bond had become between the two siblings and another building block in the family forming around her slipped into place.
It saddened her that her mother hadn’t yet made it out to Frigiliana, but Emily was trying to focus on the relationship she had with her rather than the one she wanted and, bit by bit, it was hurting less. In Javier’s arms and with the promise of his constant love for the rest of her life, Emily found a comfort, happiness and security she hadn’t realised she was missing and never, ever needed to ask to be seen or loved again.
EPILOGUE
Four months later...
THESCENTOFpine filled the spectacular penthouse apartment in Madrid so powerfully Javier had threatened to open a window. Gabi had warned him against it on pain of death, and he only relented when Emily pointed out that Diabla wouldn’t survive the fall if she became overly inquisitive.
Although he had wanted to celebrate their first Christmas in Frigiliana, Emily and he had decided that Madrid was much more suitable. It was big enough to house his sisterandthe entire Torres clan, as well as being close to the Puerta del Sol—the best place in the whole of Spain to celebrate New Year’s Eve.
Seeing Emily and Gabi occupied in the kitchen, he decided that this was his chance to attend to his last festive secret and turned to leave, only to be smacked in the face by a sprig of mistletoe.Maldito, did they not know that the stuff was poisonous? Apparently his little sister didn’t much care, if the giggles he could hear from the kitchen were anything to go by.
He looked around, seeing that what had once been a sleek, chrome and black contemporary and technologically advanced haven at the top of one of Madrid’s most exclusive skyscrapers was now, thanks to his wife’s creative talents, like the inside of Santa’s grotto.
Navidadhad truly come to their home—red velvet bows, green and gold tinsel and frost-coated glass baubles hung from every possible hook, nook or cranny. A tree that had cost an inconceivable amount of money to get up here brushed the top of the incredibly tall ceiling in the living room, leaving barely any room to put the little silver cat Emily had chosen to top the tree, rather than an angel.
Under the broad branches of the Norwegian Fir were mounds of presents. Some were for Santi, Mariana and their beautiful children Sara and Óscar, who were due to arrive in an hour’s time. Some were for Gabi and her unborn baby, Javier having had to promise that he would respect her choice and not interfere in a matter he very much wanted to interfere in.
Many were addressed to his wife—from him, from his sister and even one from Diabla, who also had a few presents of her own under the tree. And no, he didn’t care how much Santi teased him, Diabladiddeserve her gifts.
He’d never really much cared for the festive period, the memories of his mother’s past behaviour had always made it a difficult time. But three weeks ago he and Emily had talked a little more about her mother and Steven. Javier had asked if she wanted to invite them to Spain, but Emily had explained how her mother and stepfather would go on their ‘cruise at Christmas’, leaving her behind. He could see the pain it had caused her and how it had helped to impact their lives in ways no one could have imagined. But that day he’d promised her she would never spend Christmas alone ever again and that this—their first together—would be the very best. Which was why he was sneaking off to his office in order to plan a surprise present for her. One that he was sure would eclipse any other gift.
Her husband was up to something, Emily just knew it. Gabi gave her a smile that told her she suspected exactly the same.
‘I think he’s trying to out-present you,’ she mock whispered.
‘He can try,’ Emily replied, confident that, no matter what her husband had managed to wrap, she definitely had the best one for him. She placed ham, chorizo, morcilla and Manchego on a large sharing plate. Lobster, prawns and crab would make up the main course, but even that couldn’t take her attention away from the sweet nougat calledturrónthat she had come to crave with a need that was insatiable. She glanced longingly at it, Gabi catching her doing so and frowning for just a second. Before Javier’s sister could put two and two together, Emily excused herself and went in search of her husband.
Moving as quietly as possible, she turned the handle on the office door and peered through the small gap, realising her error the moment that Diabla meowed, squeezed herself through the sliver of space and rushed towards her favourite human.
Javier turned in shock, quickly trying to cover the half-wrapped present on the table in front of him.
