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As soon as we arrived at our new apartment building, I rushed inside. I flopped down on the bed, closing my eyes and wishing I could wake up from this nightmare. When I finally admitted that wasn’t going to happen, I grabbed my phone and checked for any missed calls or texts, but there were none. I’d promised to text to let Tristan know I’d arrived safely, so I typed out a message before hitting send.
Made it to Japan.
It took a few minutes, but then his response came through.
Tristan: Thanks for letting me know.
That’s it?
I waited and waited, but nothing more came. I dropped my head on the mattress, eventually drifting in and out of sleep.
My phone rang, jolting me awake. I immediately jumped to answer it, hoping it was Tristan or the kids. Wishing so badly that I could go back. That I’d never left.
But it was Piper’s name that flashed on the screen, along with a request to FaceTime. I briefly contemplated not answering, but Ireallyneeded to hear a friendly voice.
“Hey!” She waved, her smile bright.
I immediately burst into tears, not that many came.
“Oh no. What’s wrong?” Piper frowned.
“It’s awful,” I blurted. “I made a huge mistake.” I was so freaking tempted to get a cab and go back to the airport.
“Whoa. Whoa. Slow down,” Piper said. “Did something happen?”
“I just—” I sighed. “I don’t want to be here. I thought this was what I wanted, but I don’t.”
“Because of the program or because of Tristan?”
“Tristan.” I sniffled. “The kids. Oh god,” I wailed. “You should’ve seen them at the airport. It nearly killed me.”
“Oh, Ellie.” Her expression was sympathetic.
“I can’t do this.” I clawed at my shirt. It felt as if it were suffocating me. “I can’t.”
“You just got there. You’ve had a lot going on the past few days. I’m hopeful that if you give it some time, you’ll realize it’s not that bad.”
“Not that bad?” I shook my head and buried my face in my hands. “It’s awful.”
“Are you talking to Ellie?” Sumner said in the background. She waved, then frowned when she saw my face.
She sat next to Piper, and they turned the screen so I could see both of them, when all I wanted to do was hide. Piper gave her a quick overview, and Sumner listened patiently, finally saying, “I’m sorry, Ellie. I’m sure that was incredibly difficult for so many reasons.”
I nodded, grateful she understood. That she didn’t judge me or try to offer solutions. She listened.
“Did you and Tristan talk about the future at all?” Piper asked. “About staying in touch or what would happen after your time in Japan is up?”
I scoffed. “No.”
“But he loves you,” Piper said. “You know that, right?”
I wasn’t sure I believed that. If anything, I was beginning to think he loved the idea of me. The escape I provided.
I’d had a lot of time to consider it on the plane, and I’d come to several realizations.
I was convenient.
I lived in his house. Cared for his children. And he knew I was only there for a short time.
