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He didn’t love me.
“If he loved me, he wouldn’t have let me go.”
“Maybe he let you gobecausehe loved you,” Sumner said.
I buried my head in my hands. My head ached. My heart hurt. I couldn’t keep second-guessing Tristan and his decisions and what it all meant. I was going to drive myself insane.
“It doesn’t matter now,” I finally said, ignoring them. “We’re over.”
I was exhausted. Physically and emotionally drained to a level I hadn’t been since Tessa’s death. And now I was heartbroken over my late sister’s husband. I was pining for a man—and a life—that didn’t belong to me. Would never belong to me.
* * *
My phone rang,Tristan’s name appearing on the screen. For a moment, my heart stilled, but then I told myself it was probably just one of the kids calling. Even so, I checked my reflection in the mirror, smoothing my hair and swiping on some lip gloss before answering.
Apart from texting to let him know I’d arrived safely a week ago, I hadn’t talked to Tristan—or the kids—since. I’d been busy with training and adjusting to my new life while battling jet lag. But I also hadn’t wanted to upset the kids or their routine by calling. So, I’d waited to hear from them.
I connected the call, and Savannah’s face appeared on the screen. “Ellie!”
“I wanna see her,” Maddox whined, trying to push Savannah aside.
“Hey, hey,” Tristan intoned from the background, and my insides quivered with excitement and anticipation. But I quickly shut it down.
Over the past week, I’d realized that I had to focus on myself. I had to focus on my future. A future that didn’t include Tristan.
Maddox huffed, and then Savannah shared the screen with him. But Tristan was still out of view. I sensed he was still listening, or maybe I was just hoping that was the case.
“Guess what?” Savannah said.
I smiled, trying to emulate some of her enthusiasm and hoping it was good news. “What?”
“Rex came home!” She panned the phone over to Rex’s bed, where he was chewing on a toy.
“Oh, I’m so glad!” I said, filled with relief.
We talked for a little while longer. About Rex’s return. The kids told me about their new teachers and showed me the outfits they planned to wear for the first day of school. When Maddox’s attention waned, he went to get a snack. Savannah talked a little longer but then handed the phone over to Tristan.
I kept blinking at the screen, unable to believe it was really him. That I was talking to him instead of staring at one of the pictures on my phone during a moment of weakness. For a minute, I didn’t speak. Didn’t breathe.
“Hey,” he said, the creases around his eyes more prominent. He was still as handsome as ever, and I craved his touch.
“Hey,” I whispered. I took a breath and steered the conversation to safe territory. “How are they? Really.”
“Good,” Tristan said, and I scrutinized his expression for clues. “We’re all happy that Rex came home.”
I nodded. God, why was this so awkward? I’d slept with the man. He’d been inside me. And now I could barely form words around him?
“How are you?” he asked.
I bit my lip and glanced around my apartment. “I’m… Yeah. I’m good.” I returned my attention to the screen. “I have air conditioning, which is a pretty big deal.”
He chuckled, though his smile didn’t meet his eyes. “I’m glad.”
He walked to another room, and I heard the door close. “How are you really?”
I lifted my shoulders, trying to play it cool, even though I suspected he’d see right through me as always. “Good. Yeah.”
He furrowed his brow. “You look tired.”
