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“I’m glad you got to see your family,” he said, putting his hand out for her to join him on the couch. “I wasn’t sure what to expect.”
“You know,” she said, “I wasn’t sure what to expect myself. It’s been a long time since that many of us were together. I still speak my mind, but I guess I can see both sides of things. It wasn’t a great way to grow up, but it wasn’t as bad as a lot of other people have. I mean I had my family with me so that was a bonus.”
“You did,” he said, pulling her under his arm. “I always had my mother but not my father much. He took his anger out on me for what he felt my mother cost him.”
“Then he should have kept his dick in his pants and not in another woman,” she said.
Wesley had confided in her last week what Mona had told him. She couldn’t say she was surprised to find it out.
“Even if he hadn’t, I was innocent of it. It’s in the past though. Want to know what I saw tonight with your family?”
“I do,” she said. “Then I can tell you what I saw too.”
“I saw a group of people who love each other even though they aren’t in the same location. Not even the same time zone. They came together like it was days rather than years they’d seen each other.”
“We do talk. Not daily or even weekly, but a few times a month. We do keep in contact.”
“I get the feeling it’s through your mother?” he asked.
“Yes. My father has never been around much. My guess is he talks to Chase the most.”
“Because Chase is the baby and following in his father’s footsteps?”
“That’s my assumption. It bothers Ivy.”
She could see Ivy almost upset when her father paid more attention to Chase than the rest of them. Her parents had seen Chase three years ago, but much longer for the rest of them. Yet they acted like Chase was the one they hadn’t seen in twenty years in her father’s eyes.
“Everyone has to get through those things on their own,” he said. “She is going to have you now. How do you feel about that?”
“It’s fine. It’s not going to come between us. She will find a job. Maybe sooner than she thinks.”
“How is that?”
She told him about what Lily had talked to her about a few weeks ago. “I’m torn. I know Ivy would give it her all. But I don’t want her to take it because she sees what I’ve got and wants that. She has to figure out what she wants on her own.”
“She might not know what she wants until it’s in front of her face,” he said softly. “Until she is experiencing it or living it.”
She turned to look at him. “Are you speaking from experience?”
“I am,” he said. “Maybe you aren’t ready to hear this. I wasn’t even sure I was ready to say it, but I know I feel it. I guess it just reminds me you need to say what is on your mind when you can because you don’t know what tomorrow is going to bring.”
Her heart was racing in her chest. Not from fear but excitement.
“What do you want to say?”
“I wasn’t sure I could love again. I know I wanted it. I know what I want in life, but I wondered if I’d find it. I came here to just escape the past and here I am facing down my future. I don’t say these things to scare you.”
“I’m not scared,” she said. “I looked around at my parents' marriage and how long they’ve been together. The sacrifices she’s made for my father and his career and mission. It takes a lot for someone to do that. I’m not sure I could.”
“You could,” he said. “If you love someone enough, you could. But you are also the type that will voice your opinion. I know you like to control things, but you are wise enough to know not everyone can control it all.”
“I am, but that doesn’t mean I don’t struggle still with it.”
“We all struggle, Jasmine. Even me saying what I want to say.”
She got closer to him as he nudged her more against his side. “What is it you want to say?”
“That I love you. That my life was a train wreck for years. I’ve been trying to put it back on the tracks and realized that there is no way to do it alone. That I needed help. I’m getting it without asking.”
