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I finally follow her outside to an outdoor patio area that’s empty. The only things present are the potted plants that somehow create a makeshift fence that blocks us off from everyone else. The moonlight skirts down over her, bouncing off her shoulders as she lightly paces against the far railing.
She’s facing away from me, and I don’t think she’s heard me walk through the door. So I take a slice of a moment to watch her. One hand rests on her hip while the other is brought to her face. She traces her cheek before bringing her hand to the back of her bare neck. I wish I could see her face, know what she’s thinking. I want to know if she’s remembering our last encounter and how it wasn’t just two people that incidentally locked eyes. It was more than that.
I clear my throat. “Uh,” I say, my voice awkwardly loud in the quiet space. She jumps, turning to face me. “Hi, I’m Rhylan.”
The unease on her face fades and she finally smiles, exhaling a light giggle. “I know who you are.”
This is the first time I’ve seen her sincerely smile. And it’s absolutely radiant.
Her eyes turn into tiny dancing crescent moons that end at the corners with little wrinkles that fan out like feathery wings. Another set of fine lines runs down the bridge of her nose, where a light smattering of freckles is sprinkled like fairy dust. The fact that she smiles with her eyes, completely genuine and sincere, is so utterly charming. And her giggles sound like a rhapsodic melody, so infectious that I can’t help but smile back.
“Your name is Ellie?”
She nods. “I saw you the other day. At that coffeehouse,” she says. Not a question but a fact. “I–I didn’t recognize you then, but that was you, right?”
I nod. Our faces are serious as our conversation quickly lands on the verity of her statement. Although we both realized it in the ballroom.
“What were you doing there?”
“I, um…”
She shakes her head and clasps her hands in front of her. “I’m sorry. That’s really not any of my business.”
“It’s okay,” I answer, smirking through my answer. “I don’t… really know why I was there.”
“And you kept staring at me. Why?”
She doesn’t apologize this time, and her question catches me off guard. Not because it isn’t warranted, but because it’s so unpretentious, no overtone or implication. Just honest curiosity that allows her to ask a question that would be kept between us two. But I don’t know how to tell her that I did it because looking away from something that struck a chord in my fragile heart wouldn’t have been feasible. That if a fire had suddenly emerged between us there at the coffeehouse, I would’ve just continued to stare straight into her eyes through the flames.
But I try. I attempt to make sense of my answer, hoping she’ll understand. “I saw something in you that I recognized.”
Confused, she answers, “I don’t think I know you.”
“No.” I shake my head. “I mean, you looked like you were dealing with some things that made you feel… hopeless. And maybe even a little lost. I–I guess it felt familiar to me.”
Her brows knit together, her expression growing pensive. But she isn’t upset, not even a little bit. Instead, her face slowly begins to soften as if to tell me something. A deep secret, a piece of good news, anything to connect that familiarity to something real. To make it comprehensible instead of just an inkling. She got it. She understood when I said the wordfamiliarbecause she felt it too.
“You… want to get out of here?”
Her brows raise. “I’m sorry?”
“I mean, do you want to go somewhere? Maybe get away from this crowd.” I say the last word with a trace of bitterness in my voice.
“Where?”
I smile. “Anywhere.”
TWELVE
ELLIE
It was Rhylan Matthews. Rhylan Matthews who watched me fall into a scattered mess waiting to be picked up by anyone other than myself, even though I knew it wasn’t possible. It was him that watched me expose a part of myself that I had kept covered under layers of shame, along with everything that told me to move on and make some paltry attempt to be happy. How did I not realize it was him before? Maybe it was because my focus was narrowed in on trying not to completely break apart under his glaring scrutiny, as if he was trying to figure me out while I prevented it from happening. Maybe it was the fact that all I saw when I looked at him was his eyes. How they had somehow pierced through an exterior that I had unwillingly built over the past decade.
I follow close behind with my eyes on his broad back as he walks with confidence and urgency. He pulls open the heavy doors with ease, the same doors that I had to use my entire weight to push open. When we reenter the ballroom, we realize that we have to walk through the heavy crowd to get to the exit on the other side. I look up at him, wondering if he still wants me to leave with him, knowing it may cause a scene. But I don’t see an ounce of doubt on his face. Instead, he turns to me with a curved smile and a hint of mischief, which causes me to smile back at him.
He takes my hand, firmly grasping it in his as he walks quickly through the crowd. My steps become urgent as I try to keep up with him, the clicks of my heels the only indication that I’m still behind him. And the fact that my hand is still in his, wrapped in his long fingers tightly gripping mine so we don’t separate.
I feel the eyes following our path as we walk through the parting crowd. And when we walk swiftly past Claire, I see her mouth drop open. But Rhylan doesn’t stop. His eyes are glaring straight ahead in an effort to ignore everything and everyone. All the murmurs and stares are background noise at this point.
