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CHAPTER1
Leah
The night my ex came home was the worst day of my life.
It was supposed to be a homecoming to remember, with a welcome party in the backyard while he cooked hamburgers and hot dogs on the grill. I even had all the fixings to make frozen margaritas for all our guests, but that’s not at all how it went.
I cancelled the whole thing before his car careened up our gravel driveway.
He stumbled up the stoop and crashed through the door at seven o’clock, which was four hours later than he told me he’d come home by.
I smelled the alcohol on his rancid breath as soon as he walked inside. He reeked of stale beer and cheap whiskey. There was vomit and lipstick smeared into his collar.
I should have been happy to see my husband, the man I’d fallen in love with more than four years ago, the man who had given me my beautiful three-year-old daughter.
He’d never been a good man, but a fairly decent one, at least that’s what I told myself as he stared at me with fury and disdain like I wasn’t worth more than a piece of gum stuck to the bottom of his shoe.
I straightened my shirt, trying to smooth out the wrinkles. When was the last time I washed it? What was I even wearing underneath it?
We’d never been well off. The two of us had always struggled to get the bills paid. Before my daughter was born, I’d been putting myself through community college full time. Being a mom and going to school had proven difficult though, so I’d dropped my course load significantly since then so that I only took one or two online classes a semester. I’d tried to look into getting a job, but then I’d have to put Emma in daycare and that cost more than I would make.
So, I had become a stay-at-home mom because I had to be.
To support us, Trevor had joined the army and two years ago, he’d been deployed to Iraq. Now he was finally back.
This was supposed to be a happy moment, but women talk. He hadn’t been sent home after a successful deployment spent overseas. Instead, he’d been dishonorably discharged ninety days before his tour was supposed to end.
I hadn’t found out why until a week ago.
Trevor had assaulted and raped a female civilian. It had been so terrible that the other members of his unit had to pull him off her. No one knew the context of what exactly happened, but his mission had been severely compromised, and another soldier had gotten killed.
His time in the military was over.
He’d lost his pay, his benefits,everything, and after all that, he intended to come back and live with us.
I should have left before he walked through that door. Instead, I told myself that maybe he was going through post-traumatic stress, or something fucked up like that, anything to explain why such a terrible thing could have happened. He’d provided for us for years now and I thought that should have counted for something.
I was a foolish girl. I had given him a chance and I shouldn’t have.
Now I was going to pay for that choice.
He seethed in the doorway, glancing at Emma who was sitting silently in her booster seat, then at my plate on the table. I’d cooked her favorite, Mom’s special macaroni and cheese.
“Lazy bitch. Where’s my dinner?” he slurred. He bobbed back and forth before leaning on the doorframe. I had no doubt he would have fallen if not for the support that came with it.
“I wasn’t expecting…”
“The fuck you were. They told you I was coming. You didn’t even have the decency to pick me up from the fort,” he garbled. He said something else, but I couldn’t quite make it out, his words incoherent.
“Emma had a doctor’s appointment this afternoon. I couldn’t make it,” I tried to explain, lying because I thought it might be the easiest route through his anger.
He took a step inside the room and wavered, stepping from foot to foot sloppily. His eyes were glassy from the booze. He was absolutely plastered. There would be no talking through this. The most important thing was protecting my daughter.
I rounded the table slowly, trying not to call attention to my movements. I needed to get closer to my daughter. I had to make sure she stayed safe. It didn’t matter what he did to me. He wasn’t going to touch her.
“Daddy?” she asked hopefully.
His murderous gaze centered on her. I needed to distract him immediately.
