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Barrett stands at the entrance to the room, his giant form filling the wide-open door. Looking absolutely yummy in loose basketball shorts and a cotton t-shirt. Seeming to be waiting for something… His eyes roam around the space, jumping from one wall to another, gliding over our framed quotes, posters, the flowerpots on the windowsill, and quickly divert from any personal item they encounter. Halima’s robe draped over her office chair, my romance novels stacked on a bookshelf.
When Barrett’s gaze falls on the small frame resting on my nightstand, the reminder that a kind soul took the time to send me support when I needed it the most, he does a double take and I scrutinize his chiseled features in search of the answer to the question that’s been haunting me for years now.Could it be?!Barrett’s expression quickly turns blank, and I guess I’ve imagined that glint in his eyes.Yeah, Mr. ‘Tall, Dark and Silent’ here definitely didn’t write and sneak me a note that said I was beautiful with short hair.
I have no clue what he’s doing here, though. And my curiosity makes it even more difficult than usual to not stare.Not my fault the man’s so freaking gorgeous, for God’s sake.
Barrett is even taller than when he played basketball back in high school, probably close to six feet five, now. And the way he filled up… His cotton t-shirt can’t conceal the bulk of his defined biceps and pecs. He still wears his dark hair shortly cropped. His golden tanned skin makes my mouth water for a taste. Then there’s the warm eyes, masculine nose, full lips and square jaw…Fuck, I need to get a grip!
The one thing that hasn’t changed is his quietness. This guy is the undefeated universal champ of the silent game.Insert eye-roll.
“Do you need something?” I finally inquire.
Barrett’s surprised gaze briefly meets mine before drifting away. When my eyes fall to his feet, I see he’s wearing sandals, and even his toes are beautiful,damn it!
“Hum… Halima said you needed help with homework?” He explains in an uncertain tone.
I will cut a sister!
“She must have misunderstood. I’m fine. Thanks for stopping by.”
I give him a tight-lipped smile, not about to get trapped in one of Halima’s crazy plans.
Barrett hovers by the door for a few more seconds before shrugging his broad shoulders.
“OK, I’ll leave you to it, then. Good night.”
He waves, lingering for a beat.
“Thanks.” This time, I try infusing some modicum of warmth into my voice.
Barrett gifts me a small grin that squeezes my heart, then walks out. Once more, the door closes, and I fall back on the mattress. This time, my thoughts are not filled with sleepiness or lack of motivation for schoolwork, but with the familiar tug of longing. I’ve got to shake off my feelings for this guy. Barrett is not interested. All the dude seems to care about is his family, his friends, his studies, and basketball. I’m twenty-years-old,dammit. I’m ready to meet someone, have a relationship. There’s no way that will happen for as long as I’m hung up on some childhood fantasy. Halima’s told me so, and even Sarah agrees.Fuck.
***
BARRETT
What a fucking idiot! For God’s sake, when will I learn to talk to this girl?It’s not like I didn’t know Halima was full ofshit. She pushes us into each other’s arms every chance she gets. And I know for a fact Mia is a brilliant student. She didn’t need my help with homework.
Reading the irritation in her eyes…I shake my head. I’m losing her and I only have myself to blame. Can’t help but notice how other guys on campus look at her, some even bold enough to approach my Mia. One day, some motherfucker will get in there, and then what? I have no right, no claim to Mia.
I’ve been fighting to outgrow my timidity around her. Tried overcoming it, but it’s like I’m stuck. Can’t look at her, listen to her melodious voice, or hear her beautiful laughter without getting hard. I avoid her because I don’t know how to talk to her. And I’m not even sure she wants me around anymore. The more attracted and infatuated I become, the more I feel like running.What the fuck is wrong with me?!
Deep down, I know we’re not ready to be together. At least, I’m not yet the man Mia deserves. I want to be everything she needs. I want to take care of her in all ways… I just hope that once I’m ready, it won’t be too late…
Reunited
MIA
After we finished college, Halima and I moved to London for grad school. We wanted to experience the big city life and independence, far from our small town and close-knitted community.
Now, I’m twenty-five, working for a prestigious consulting firm, living in the financial hub of the world, and dating an eligible bachelor. Life’s good.
* * *
“I know we haven’t seen each other much lately,” I tell Reda, the man I’ve been going out with for a few months now. “I’m trying, but you know we’re in the middle of negotiating a deal. It’s not like I can run to a meeting on the other side of town, then come meet you for a drink after. Just give me till the weekend.”
I feel bad having to decline another one of his invitations. Especially since I know Reda’s busy too, but still makes seeing me a priority on his schedule.
“Okay,” he grumbles in a disappointed tone.
