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Alone.
A life without him.
Until this point, I believed I was strong and had grown into a confident woman. Without Samuel by my side, I’m not sure she exists. All I can envision is an empty shell of the person I had become, even less of my former self, and I can’t and won’t go back to being her.
As I’m laying Rose in her crib, she opens her eyes and stares at me before closing them again. My heart melts. She was created from love, and I see Samuel in her every day. I have to be strong for her. For us.
“Daddy will come home soon,” I whisper.
I lean in and kiss her cheek before flopping onto my bed.
Beside me, the phone screen lights up with an alert. One new email from Christopher McMahon.
Dear Eden,
Thank you for your email concerning Samuel’s safety.
Despite the alarming reference to him finding a new location, we appreciated you reaching out and keeping us updated. We especially appreciated you taking the time to send photos of beautiful Rose.
She has grown at just six weeks old.
Rose reminds Caroline of Samuel when he was a baby.
It has cheered us somewhat to see the photos. Please keep in touch, and one day we hope to meet you and Rose.
As for Samuel, I’m disappointed in his decision not to return home and be with you as soon as he could. His place is with you, not with some primitive tribe that doesn’t need his help as much as you do.
Please don’t worry. This is nothing new to us. For years, we suffered with the fear of losing our son and not knowing what he’s doing or where he is. In previous years, he had disappeared for eighteen months at a time with no contact. For some reason, he loves his work and is smart enough to find his way out of trouble. He’ll do it again.
We know how much he loves you, and he’ll do what it takes to come find you.
Please stay in touch.
Yours sincerely,
Christopher and Caroline McMahon.
Without responding, I set my phone aside and close my eyes. His parents have no idea how dangerous this journey is, how it’s nothing like Ulara. When I think about it, Ulara is the people, and wherever they settle, Ulara will be. It’s not a place or a river, it’s a state of heart and people being as one to form a close community.
But if anything happens to Samuel, they’ll not notify his parents or me. As time passes, we will just have to assume the worst. I can’t imagine the gut-wrenching pain that will consume me if he fails.
He can’t.
He has to do this.
It’s been years since I prayed, but tonight I close my palms together, bow my head, and ask for Samuel to be guided through the jungle and then return safely to me.
41
EDEN
Two Months Later…
“The decorations are fabulous,” I tell Cleo.
Yasmine’s dusky pink lips stretch into an admiring smile. “I didn’t think you had a creative flair. Honestly, I always believed you were science, science, science, but your artistic skill is next level. Seems like we have similar genes.”
Cleo beams a proud smile at her sister. Her skin is makeup-free. She’s every bit as beautiful as her sister with dark skin and eyes and high cheekbones. I envy their model-like appearance. “The colors are of the Thunder Football Club, at your father’s request. Teal and white and black with balloons and other decorations. The silver makes the teal pop.”
