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“You’re the bravest mother in the world,” he tells Eden.
Her gaze returns to the screen. “It’s our baby.” The light burns bright in her eyes, reminding him of dawn, a time of day when the best is yet to come.
“You estimate the baby to be twenty-eight weeks?”
Eden’s brow pinches as she tries to gather her thoughts.
“Yes,” Samuel answers for Eden.
“By the scan, your baby has grown remarkably, and I’d work with a possible mid-January date.”
“Oh.” Eden’s eyes widen. “So, can you see the sex of our baby?” she asks. She glances at Samuel. “Do you want to know?”
“I… well, yes, if that’s what you want?”
Dr. Vásquez’s lips pull tight into a smile. “It’s a girl.”
“A girl,” Eden says in a high-pitched voice. “Oh, Samuel.”
Samuel chuckles. “I imagine she’s going to be as beautiful as her mother.” He shakes his head. “And yeah, I can’t believe it.” The thought of him almost losing both of his girls triggers the demons inside of him.
A voice he has fought hard to ignore.
You’re a failure.
Dr. Vásquez’s phone dings. “Excuse me a moment.” He exits the room to take a call, leaving Eden and Samuel alone.
Samuel stands and walks to the window, only he can’t open it for the fresh air he urgently needs. The last two days have played over in his mind again and again. He was dangerously close to losing Eden and their child. He doesn’t have the stamina to fight the guilt. His eyes well as the emotion takes hold of his body. Eden can’t see him like this when she needs his support more than ever.
“Are you okay?”
Samuel dips his chin, takes a deep breath, and looks over his shoulder. “Do you know how amazing you are?”
She tilts her head. “What’s wrong?”
Samuel shakes his head. “I could’ve lost you.”
“But you didn’t.”
“No.” His voice cuts out as his demeanor cracks. One sob escapes him. He strides to her, collapses to his knees, and rests his head on the bed.
She runs her fingers through his hair to soothe him. “I’m fine. We’re going to be okay.”
His past and present collide, every thought undoing him until his entire body shakes. Every painful memory of his life is sucked into a vortex as the tornado rips out his heart.
“I’m so sorry,” he weeps. “I almost failed you too.”
“You saved me,” she says gently.
Samuel shakes his head. “I saw everything I care about slipping away.” He shakes his head. “You were out there alone, and I wanted to trade places with you. I kept thinking back to our time in Brazil. I wanted to go back to that day on the beach and not leave my room. I wish you never found me. Because of me, you almost died.”
“Stop. Finding you was the best thing that’s happened to me,” she croaks and squeezes his fingers. “You can’t blame yourself for what happened. I shouldn’t have ventured out alone.”
Wiping tears from his face, he then dots her fingers with kisses. “And you can’t blame yourself when you had to pee. Something we all do.”
A single laugh burst from her. She pats the bed beside her. “Lay with me.”
Samuel slides on his side and lays beside her, taking up the smallest amount of room on the single bed. Everything has changed, and there’s no going back to how things were before. They have days to contemplate what to do.
