Page 65 of Hopelessly Wild


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Kaikare shoots me a look and then gently shakes Samuel’s shoulder.

A single second, and yet in the flickering light, her eyes communicate concern. When she uncurls and stands, I lean over and whisper in his ear, “I’m here, Samuel. You’re not alone.”

Kaikare raises her arms and sings to the jungle. She doesn’t stop me, so I take it as a green light.

“You’re safe, my love. I’m here. And your daughter, Arukuma Turùpo, is with you.”

He twitches—the reaction I hoped for. Whispering our daughter’s name over and over is my way of penetrating any walls the spirits have constructed to keep me out. I glance up to Kaikare.

She gives me a nod. She leans over and places a hand on his shoulder. “Piriki'ki,” she says firmly. “Piriki'ki,” she repeats. She looks to the jungle. A rumbling growl overpowers the sound of every other creature—every hunter. Did it come from the dark, pulsating wilderness or the space around us?

Eyes. I see a pair of eyes, blue and unblinking on the ground. I turn to Kaikare, unmoving. Is she frozen in fear that it’s a jaguar and our men’s minds are temporarily paralyzed from the tea? The creature’s eyes convey emotion, and I feel it with every fiber of my being. Anger? No, frustration.

What’s Kaikare waiting for?

Moving onto all fours, I remain in front of Samuel, protecting him from whatever it is out there.

Kaikare breaks into another song, and it tricks my mind into relaxing. She nods to the trees. There’s another set of eyes staring back at us. It hoots a soft sound.

“An owl?” I ask.

She nods. “Piriki'ki.”

Right.

A flapping of winds comes from behind me, and I duck my head as I catch a flash of red, blue, and yellow before it disappears in the dark. Yet, it was enough time for me to realize the macaw is heading toward the owl.

“Kawak,” Kaikare states.Macaw.

I nod.Kawak.

Kaikare bends down, touches Samuel’s shoulder, and points toward the trees. “Kawak, Piriki'ki, Väi Uarati Kún-imá.”

Wait. Väi Uarati Kún-imá is Samuel’s name. I shake my head for my thoughts to unravel. Is she telling me Samuel is the macaw and the owl? I stroke his beautiful face. His eyes remain closed only now there’s a peacefulness surrounding him.

Yet we have overlooked there is a jaguar crouched beyond the dense foliage.

I point. “Tïmenneng.”Jaguar.Recently, I learned the warrior and friend Tïmenneng’s name is the word for jaguar, and he’s the most fearless of all the Ularan young men.

“Tykaraije Tïmenneng.”Black jaguar.

My chest tightens with every breath.

Another set of fierce eyes, this time yellow in color, join the black jaguar, and a growl echoes through the trees. A clear warning these powerful cats are a threat to every creature. The noise of the jungle fades into the distance as the throb of my racing heart echoes behind my ears.

What’s happening?

A smaller feline springs out from the ferns. Wild, with the same frustration reflected in its blue eyes. The larger jaguar roars, and it tumbles and retreats to crouch at their sides.

What the hell have we done?

I can’t breathe. My chest heaves with each breath as though the forest is angered and has sucked all the oxygen out of the waipa.

“Kaikare,” I murmur with my hand on my chest until I can’t take anymore.

I lay alongside Samuel, my lover, close my eyes, and will my heart to slow.

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