Page 78 of Hopelessly Wild


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Right now, I feel lost, and I understand why Samuel didn’t want to leave.

* * *

The ultrasound beeps, and it reminds me of my time here in the same hospital when I was dehydrated and ill. I was afraid of losing Rose and wanted to gohome. Now she’s safe with me, and they are checking my uterus for retained placenta as a precaution. Samuel has ordered every test possible even though Dr. Vásquez has reassured him some are unnecessary. The amount of blood the nurse took from my arm was incredible. I shook my head and gave Samuel a dark look. I know he’s going to send me home when ironically, I now want to stay.

Last night, he finally opened up and told me that Asoo had mentioned more drones are flying closer to Ulara, scoping out the land. He assumes illegal mining is to blame, but they can’t point blame until they have facts. Samuel’s concern is for the Ularans’ safety, and I understand that. When I asked him what the solution will be, he merely shrugged.

Samuel doesn’t shrug.

Even though he opened up by telling me this, he’s still avoiding matters that concern both of us.

Like now—his gaze is fixed to the screen while he’s speaking in Spanish.

Dr. Vásquez turns to me. “Everything is clear. There’s no evidence of placenta. Are you clotting at all?”

I shake my head.

“We’ll take some swabs and make sure there’s nothing untoward, and then you’re free to leave when your blood results have returned. Over the next day or two, we’ll observe Rose for jaundice, keep a check on her feeding and urine output. Has she passed a stool?”

“Yes,” Samuel says quickly. “On the flight.” He looks at me and grins. It was a moment we both laughed as we tried to remove the revolting sticky stools from her little buttocks. Thank goodness it didn’t stink out the cabin of the plane.

Rose cries out, and Samuel brings her to me so I can feed her. Dr. Vásquez leaves us to take my samples to pathology.

Samuel lowers Rose to my lap after I have adjusted my clothes. “The colostrum will help with her immunity, and it’s satisfying. Tomorrow she’s likely to be unsettled right before your milk comes in.”

I raise my brows at him. “Unsettled?”

“I just thought you should know.”

“Is this how it’s going to be between us?” I ask in a direct voice. “You, always aware of the possible problems and alerting me to what Ishouldexpect. I mean, motherhood I can handle. Being in the jungle and not knowing what to expect is a time you shouldn’t have left me to discover my way. It’s one extreme to the other.”

“I’m only trying to help.”

“Help, yes. Having yourself in a constant state of worry and watching over me like I could be obliterated in seconds isn’t comforting. I want you to be with me, Samuel, the man I love. Not Samuel, the doctor.”

He lowers his gaze and rubs his thumb over my hand. “I’m sorry. I guess old habits die hard.”

“Old habits? Or are you hiding something from me?”

“Hiding?” He raises his hand to rest it on the back of his neck.

“Keeping something from me. It’s like you have to be with me every second. I’m not complaining, but we have the rest of our lives to be together.”

His lips tighten, and I sense I’ve hit the nail on the head.

“What? Tell me what you’ve planned?”

“I don’t have a plan.” He massages the back of his neck as though ironing out the kinks. “I’m continually changing my course of action, and I don’t want to concern you with matters that won’t affect you.”

“If they don’t affect me, then they shouldn’t affect you.”

“I have charged your cell.” He pulls it from his case. “You can call your family and friends to inform them you’re safe and announce the birth.”

“Don’t change the subject.” He holds my gaze momentarily, then places my phone on the table beside the bed.

“I also have my own calls to make.” He heads to the door and closes it behind him.

Shit. I want to know who he’s calling because we both know it’s not his parents.

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