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“Sorry. You were dry-heaving and didn’t want us near you. That whispering, hurtful voice begged us not to touch you.”
The sudden silence makes me look up, and I see the anguish in his eyes.
“I wanted to hold you so badly,” he continues. “To let you know that no one will ever do anything to you—that you’re not alone. I’m here to protect you.”
The pieces of my heart continue to melt just as they’ve done since Matt and I spoke, and some of them begin to absorb each other. Those shattered pieces aren’t from yesterday, but from my childhood years when I needed a goodnight kiss or a hug.
The years when men hurt me, claiming they owned me, and my father allowed it because it was for the good of our family. I owed it to him, to Mom.
The question of this being a wise move ticks like a clock attached to a bomb. My logical side screamsfix yourself before making a move.
“Thea?” Tristan steps closer to me.
He puts his arms protectively around me. “I’ll be whatever and whoever you want me to be. The only condition I ask is that you don’t push me out of your life. Matt and I love you, and no matter how long it takes, we’ll make this work.”
Being back in his arms feels so good. So good. He’s my shelter. The energy to face the day. The air I need to breathe.
Why am I pushing away one of the people I need in my life?
“I want you and Matt in my life.”
I hug him hard because I know that by doing so, promising to be with Matt too, he’s already pushing his hard limit. Matt wouldn’t take him if we were going to be in the closet—would he? I’m searching for an answer that I decide, for now, isn’t important. At least not today.
“I won’t run from my past, but I’m not ready to confront it just yet. Can you accept that for now?”
“We’re all compromising, Butterfly, taking it a day at a time. Please, let me love you.”
“Okay,” I mumble as I press my face against his chest.“Just remember, I have to work on myself too. The breakdowns don’t happen often but…”
“What was it? How can we help prevent them?”
I crack my neck and stare at him for a moment. “Last night? It was everything. Even the stench of alcohol played a role in the episode. Honestly, I doubt I can go back to work tonight.”
He releases me and rubs his face with both hands.
Uh-oh.
Are they firing me?
“They raided the place. Thefans.” He clears his throat. “Reed saved the guitars, but the booze and the rest of the equipment is all gone.”
My stuff, my apartment.
“Matt’s brother-in-law was able to get inside and retrieve some of your stuff,” he continues. “The insurance has to assess the damage. He’s working with them to let him pack all your belongings today.”
“Where am I supposed to live?” I go into self-preservation mode, thinking about the possibilities. My appointment with the realtor isn’t until Monday. This weekend I was going to look for a car and get the information about getting a driver’s license. “Wait a second. Pria. She offered her home.”
Tristan walks to the door, opens it, and yells, “Matthew, we need you.”
It doesn’t take long before Matthew storms inside the room, Pria and Ainsley behind. Jacob watches from the hallway. All eyes are on me, and I’m feeling crowded.
“What’s going on?” I ask, taking a few steps back, finding my own space.
“We thought you needed help?” Ainsley speaks, then points at Tristan. “He sounded desperate.”
The three-ring circus is complete as the gray-eyed scary man from yesterday saunters into the room. “Good, everyone is here. I have a two-hour window to pack and get everything out of the apartment starting in thirty minutes.”
He turns to look at Matt. “Chris and Gabe are already printing their spreadsheet, so I guess at least one of them is going.”
