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It’s impossible to finish that sentence. I feel like an asshole for pushing him. If I had known… but what am I supposed to do now? Go to therapy, learn how to help Tristan, and never treat him differently? I guess it’s almost the same I’m doing with Thea.
“Thank you,” I whisper, kissing the back of his neck. “For trusting me with this. I’m here for you, please don’t shut yourself down, let me be with you while you deal with your past, babe.”
He nods, not saying a word. We hold each other for a long time, and then, I give him a hard, consuming kiss where I absorb his pain and give him my strength.
When I met him, I thought he hid his sexuality for fear of losing his wealth or judgment. I didn’t know he was hiding in fear. I want to kiss each welt in his soul and tend to the scars in his heart.
If only he lets me. All I say when I end the kiss is, “I love you.”
“I’m sorry,” he mumbles.
“Never be sorry for trying to survive in a world where everyone has only hurt you. I’m here for you, to be your rock. Lean on me until you’re ready to stand on your own, okay?”
“I love you,” he whispers.
“So, about my grandma?” I change the subject.
“Ah, Thea says that she wants to experiment.”
I rub my face with both hands and then march to her bedroom to find out what kind of shit they’re getting her into. Drugs? Oregano, opium… What the fuck?
“Butterfly, are you ready?”
“Almost. Matt, I just need to find my pink dye.” She shows me the freshly dyed tips of her hair.
“You finished it already, said you were going to—”
“Right, order it,” she grumbles as she turns around, giving me a peck on the lips. Then she lifts two bottles. “Purple or blue?”
I gape at her. “You’re doing that now?”
This woman can’t stop messing with her hair, but today of all days, for real?
“No, silly, it’s for Janine. Your grandmother.” She grins at me. “I’m fighting Pria for thatfavorite spot.”
“It’s yours, baby. I’m Janine’s favorite.” I wink at her. This is the first time I notice that my woman has a competitive streak. “It’ll be interesting to see Grandma with purple hair.”
Thea heads to her small box, drops one of the bottles, and hands it to me. It’s not heavy, but the rattling piques my attention.
“What else are you going to do to my poor grandma?” The image of my adorable grandma with purple hair worries me, and with Thea in charge of a hippie makeover, things are about to turn interesting for the matriarch. “My parents might not like you after this.”
“They adore me, hotshot.” She winks at me and leaves the room.
“That they do, my butterfly. That they do.”
“What color will it be, dear?” Grandma watches Thea draw a pattern on her arm with an applicator of henna. “And is it going to last forever?”
“A reddish brown.” She smiles, gliding the henna applicator around the back of her hand. “Henna doesn’t have any fun colors, but it’s safe. And it’ll last only for two weeks.”
“Well, you’ll have to come over to see me when this one fades to try another design, Thea.” Grandma pats my girl’s hand.
“Of course, I will.” She puts the last touches on and then moves to the other side of Grandma. “Give me your other arm. I’m going to draw a small owl.”
This was Grandma’s birthday wish according to Ainsley: to have a different hair color and a tattoo. One of those tattoos that Thea has on her feet. Her henna tattoos. The purple doesn’t look great on Grandma, but it’ll fade soon.
Dad and Papa sit on the couch across from them, watching her, both with a satisfied grin too, just like Grandpa. Grandpa James watches from the chess table where he’s playing with Tristan.
“She’s making Grandma happy,” Ainsley whispers, squeezing my arm. “Thank you for not making a fuss about it.”Like Jacob,she doesn’t finish the sentence.
