AllFreeNovel
Share Us
She remembered locking the medicine safe this morning. Her anxiety medicine was in there. She’d even looked in the bottle and saw how few pills were left, which meant she needed a refill. Which meant going back to the doctor. There was no way the doc was going to sign a prescription without a visit. But that bottle was in there. One bottle. Not this bottle.
She was sparring with lucidity and didn’t know how to stop.
“Elisa?” Harris’s voice grew closer.
She couldn’t let him see the bottle. He’d go off and probably never trust her again. She’d accuse him of being the last one who had it. They’d circle around, argue, and she would be the one to lose. She could feel it.
In a panic, she grabbed the bottle and slipped it in her cardigan pocket. Kept her hand over it as she turned around. “No lectures. Please.”
“Are there any words I’m allowed to use?” His gaze stayed locked on her face. It didn’t wander to her hand or her pocket.
She tried to concentrate on what he was saying but her mind got stuck on the new problem.Bottle. Bottle. Bottle.
“I’m worried about you,” he said.
He’d been saying that almost every day since the shooting. Her answer never changed. “I’m fine.”
He shook his head. “Oh, okay.”
Sarcasm did not make this better. “Harris, say it. Whatever is in your head that you’re afraid to give voice to, just tell me.”
“I think Rachel has triggered you somehow.”
Oh, definitely. Not the way he thought but she was very wary of Rachel now. “Meaning?”
She hated being out of control, under constant threat in her own home. Her fingers tightened around the bottle. She tried to ignore that she held a piece of evidence that proved Harris’s case and might make him right about all of his worries.
Was someone playing hide-and-seek with her meds? She knew the safe combination. So did Harris. That was the entire universe of people who could easily mess with the medicine. But there was no way Harris could... no. Right?
“I’m not saying you don’t like her.” Harris started moving again and didn’t stop until he stood right in front of her with his hands rubbing her tense shoulders. “But she came into the family and you’ve been spinning ever since. Leaving your medicine out.”
Oh, God. “One time.”
Lie. Lie. Lie.
“It only takes one time.” He kept touching her. Caressing her. Acting like he was trying to soothe her.
“Right.” This felt like a test. If he put the bottle there for some reason, hewantedher to stumble over it and doubt herself. He wanted a gotcha moment... and she refused to give it to him.
“But that’s not the only thing.” He continued the gentle massage. “You’re obsessed about Abby. Angry at Josh. Forgetting things. Not picking up Nathan.”
That list. It included random, unrelated things. Normal things.Life gets in the waythings.
“You never pick up your clothes. You frequently forget to call when you’ve got an emergency and will be late. You defend Josh and believe him over me.” She put her free hand against his chest, connecting them in the way that had always given her comfort. “See how when you take regular things and combine them together in a list it sounds terrible, but taken individually, there’s an explanation for all of it?”
He hesitated before answering. “Fair point.”
“Look, I don’t want to fight.” She never wanted to fight. She had this life, the one she’d dreamed about as a kid. Stable and happy, lucky and loving. The idea of upending it, even with all the confusion rushing around her head, made her physically ill. “But I can’t just pretend Abby disappearing without a word is okay.”
“I admit the circumstances surrounding Abby’s leaving are upsetting.”
Leaving.He insisted on using words that sounded tame. “Then please support me.”
“I do, Elisa. I love you, but I also know you’ve had a shitty year. You want to ignore that, but I can’t.”
What happened to her at work made up so little of who she was and what mattered to her. It impacted her—still did—but he acted like there was nothing else left of her but the trauma. She couldn’t let that be true. “You think I’m losing it.”
“Hell, I’m losing it!”
