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He meets my glare head-on. “You and I both know it isn’t the same thing.”
“Yeah, yeah. I know you went to war. I ran off to college.”
I stop and pinch the bridge of my nose. God, I’m such a bitch right now. “I’m sorry, Landon. You know I don’t really feel that way.”
He shoves my suitcase aside and pats my bed. “Sit down.”
With a sigh, I sit next to my brother and my head goes to his shoulder. He drapes an arm around mine and kisses the top of my head. “You okay, Pita?”
My vision blurs and I try to answer, but when I open my mouth to respond, I burst into tears.
All I’ve done this week is cry and lie in bed, wishing my life were different.
“I’ll take that as a no.”
Landon rubs my back until my tears run dry.
He reaches over to the side table and hands me a tissue box. “What happened?”
I sniffle and clear my throat. “I broke things off with him.”
“Because you love him?”
“I told him I could only do casual.”
“And?”
“And he told me he loved me.” I dab at my eyes and sniff again. “I told him if he really loved me, he needed to let me go. I can’t have my heart broken again.”
“And judging by the fact you’re crying and leaving early, I take it he did what you asked.”
“He just walked away.”
Landon leans his elbows on his thighs and looks straight ahead. “You know how I came back from the war injured, right?”
“Yes, of course. I was scared we’d lost you.”
A small smile curves his lips and he continues. “Well, it was more than just a leg injury. It was my pride, my heart, my mind. I knew I could fix the physical. A guy down at the VA told me the gym up here had a rehab specialist that could help me.”
His smile gets bigger and his whole face lights up with love. “It was Iris. When I walked in and saw her…I was so angry. Happy but angry. We’d never been anything more than friends, but I’d always wanted more. I was angry because I wasn’t the same man I had been when I left. And I wanted to be that man for her. But how in the hell was I going to fix that?”
He pauses and I wait for him to continue. I’ve never heard their story, and with the exception of when he was injured, I’ve never seen my big, strong brother vulnerable.
“Anyway, long story short, I had to let her in again. Iris has always had my heart, even when we were just friends. I realized that I didn’t have to save her, because she’d already saved me. But I had to stop pushing her away. Because the thought of not being with her when she wanted me, scars and all?”
He shakes his head, then looks over and meets my gaze. “Lia, loving someone isn’t perfect. It’s hard and messy. But if you have someone who loves you for all you are, good, bad, and ugly, it’s a gift not everyone gets. Don’t waste it.”
My eyes fill again and I dab at them. “This hurts, Landon. Worse than last time.”
He nods and pulls me into his side. “Like your heart is walking around outside your body, right?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s because it is.”
We sit there quietly while Landon’s words tumble through my head. I think back to what Jake said to me.
I want all of you.
