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Out of the corner of her eye, she squints up at the mirrored clock advertising barber supplies, still hanging on the wall from the previous tenant. “Your consultant doesn’t come until 9:30, and my first client is Jelisaweta. She always shows up late. Time enough for a quickie among friends.”
What the fuck!Although I’ve known Bella long enough, I’m still a bit taken aback by her suggestion. “I thought we just cleared up the friendship with benefits thing,” I remind her after getting out of her reach for good measure. “It doesn’t work.”
“Now don’t be like that.” She releases an agonized sigh, dropping her gaze to my telltale baggy jeans. “It’s obvious you need relief.”
Though we’ve shared table and bed until recently, I’m embarrassed by her directness. “There are other ways…” I answer, deliberately vague. I guess I’ll have no choice but to jerk off in the restroom if I want to meet Ms. Lechner in a professionally neutral way.
“Other ways?” Bella’s voice squeaks loudly.
I perceive something, but I’ m unsure if it is the doorbell.Can’t she shut up for a minute?
But she continues to yell at me. “What do you mean byother ways? Do you want to go to a whorehouse?”
I stare at her.Good grief, where did she get this idea now?
“You-uu,” she drags out the syllable and takes a theatrical breath. “You’re not suggesting you’ve been to a hooker before, are you?”
Holy shit.The way she emphasizes the noun makes me suspect I’m stuck in a classic quandary: No matter what I say now, it can only be the wrong thing.
A cooing laugh relieves me of my duty to reply.
I look over to the entrance to find that Jelisaweta, who always shows up late, has broken with her bad habit today.
“Felipenho, sweetie…!” The age-old nickname Jelisaweta teases me with spouts evil; I didn’t even know she knew it. “What am I overhearing? Haven’t you told anything about your past to Bella?”
“Past?” chirps Bella, suddenly white around the nose. “Does it mean you’ve really been to a whorehouse before? Like…” Rather rudely, she points her naked finger at our client, “…to her father’s?”
I open my mouth, although I have no clue what to say.
But Jelisaweta answers for me. Right after she gracefully crosses her endlessly long and almost completely tattooed legs on the sofa. “Mhm, yeah…” Her perfectly painted lips pucker into a kissable mouth. “When I think about how Dayany goes into raptures over him… Every time I get a new tattoo from you guys…” She flutters her eyelash extensions so fiercely I almost think I feel a breeze. “…of course, only whenPáposchkais not around.”
“Dayany…?” Bella frowns. “That’s… your Brazilian stepmother, isn’t it?”
“Páposchka’s long-term fiancée,” Jelisaweta corrects, starting to leaf through one of the tattoo magazines still lying on the sofa.
“And she knows Philly?” Every single one of Bella’s words seems to be followed by three question marks.
Meanwhile, I’ve decided to endure the unfolding debacle outwardly unmoved.Damnit! It’s not my fault!Big Hammerinsisted at the time that every male must have had sex at least five times before reaching the age of sixteen! And for this purpose, he dragged me to the whorehouse of Gavriil Romanovich, of all people. The chummiest of his guys.
“…says he was a downright gifted student…” I overhear, deepening my mantra. “…skillful, dexterous and teachable…”
Oh my fucking God! That’s what she’s saying about me?It’s been a good twelve years since I…
“She popped his cherry?” Bella articulates the last word as if in capital letters of a typical tattoo font. “Badass. Really?”
“Somebody had to,” Jelisaweta says, “Dayany said he has been overdue, like a five-year-old colt which hasn’t been broken in yet.” She checks my reaction out of the corner of her eye.
I practice my poker face, although the comparison to a foal…
“Is this still your little friend’s name, by the way?” The direct address by Jelisaweta catches me off guard after the two girls have been talking about me all this time as if I weren’t present.
“You mean Jolly Jumper?” squeaks the treacherous Bella, and Jelisaweta nods with relish.
“I’ll have to tell Dayany,” she announces, and I want the day to start over. “She’s still a huge fan of Lucky Luke. SincePáposchkais giving her free rein to design his new club, ten autographed originals by Morris will adorn the walls. My father thinks art is also a good investment…” Jelisaweta turns her gaze from me to Bella. “If you two artists would like to take a look at them sometime, I’d be happy to arrange it before the business starts.”
No way! And run into the former prostitute who, unknowingly, I must have impressed quite a bit at the time? And end up getting into trouble with her sugar daddy?No, Ferret Face and his shadybrothersare already more trouble than I need.I have absolutely no desire to tangle with a hustler who has connections to the Russian mafia!
“…in Mosbach?” Bella’s organ squeaks into my musings. “Well, we can hardly say no then, can we, Philly?”
