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TJ swallowed a complex ball of emotions that included shock and rage and horror and the strongest surge of protectiveness he’d ever experienced.
Jeremy: What kind of abuse? Emotional? Verbal? Physical?
He pinched his head in his hands as he waited for her response. He didn’t know what to pray for. That it hadn’t been physical abuse? Verbal abuse could do just as much damage. So could emotional.
“God, be with Melody,” he moaned as regret slammed into him that he hadn’t tried harder to get to the bottom of her reasons for leaving church. The hurt from her rejection had still been so strong a year later that when she stopped showing up and refused to pray with him or explain herself, he had brushed it off.
His phone pinged, and he took a deep breath, unsure if he was prepared to keep reading.
Melody: All three but mostly verbal. Physically she never did anything too crazy but I did have to hide some bruises from my best friend in high school when I got bad grades. When I was younger it was more neglect than anything but always a lot of insults. How stupid I was and stuff like that. You know… That I’m a worthless failure.
TJ groaned, clutching at his stomach as his insides roiled too much to respond immediately.
Jeremy: Why didn’t you tell your best friend?
Melody: I didn’t want him to know. If my own mom didn’t want me, why should he?
Like a puzzle, the pieces clicked together. She didn’t believe she was enough for him. She never had. Even when he did his best to make it clear she was.
Jeremy: Melody, I know I don’t really know you, but from what I know, I can assure you you’re not stupid or a failure. Your mom was wrong about you. I hope you know that.
Melody: Thank you, you’re very kind.
Jeremy: I happen to mean it. Your achievements tell me you are obviously talented, and your workplace success tells me you are smart and professional. Not a failure. Believe in yourself. God does.
Melody: I try... Not very good at it.
Jeremy: Why is your mom visiting now?
Melody: She only comes when she’s been dumped by a boyfriend. She left me on my own the day I turned eighteen to chase some guy across the country.
What? TJ slumped forward. He’d been her best friend when she turned eighteen. Where had she gone? Where had she lived? She didn’t act like anything had changed.
As TJ rewound almost ten years, the stench of unwashed perspiration and climbing chalk that clung to the locker room air faded from his notice. Melody’s birthday was in early April. She’d be twenty-eight like him in a few months. That meant she was still in school when her mom left.
More puzzle pieces drifted together. He remembered the way she had emotionally withdrawn and gotten a job that spring. Andthatwas when she quit going to church.
“Oh, Mel.” He rose, intent on driving to her house and making her tell him everything. Get it out of her system, out of her heart and soul where it didn’t belong anymore. Where it had never belonged.
But then he’d have to confess his deception. Right now, she trusted Jeremy and was unburdening herself of things she didn’t seem to have told another living person. If he went, she would shut him out, no matter what name he went by.
Slouching back down, he resumed typing. Continued his deceit. What else could he do? Anything else and he’d lose her faster than he could sing the ABCs.
Jeremy: What did you do then? Were you done with school?
Melody: I had a few months left. The landlord was a nice man and he let me stay as long as I paid whatever I could, so I got a job at Meijer. But he told me to pack up the day after graduation. I went to college two months early and took a summer class so I could stay in the dorm. That music scholarship was a lifesaver in every way possible.
TJ remembered. He couldn’t figure out why she was set on leaving right after graduation. Didn’t she know if she had told him, his family would have taken her in like she was one of their own? Didn’t she know how much they loved her?
Jeremy: You’re really a survivor, you know that?
Melody: It hasn’t been easy but I get by.
Jeremy: Stuff like that leaves scars. Ever tried counseling?
Melody: No, I have a problem talking about it.
Jeremy: You’re talking to me.
