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She said nothing, her legs collapsing as she slid down the door until her haunches hit the dirty entryway floor. Her head lolled back against the solid oak behind her.
“I don’t think any less of you, okay?” His voice had taken on a higher-pitched desperation, but Melody said nothing from her spot on the floor. “I’ve always loved you, Mel. As my friend, I mean. Nothing can change that. Nothing. Do you hear me?”
She heard him, all right. He was out of his mind. Acceptance like that didn’t exist. Not on this earth. Not for her. TJ might think he was capable of loving every last thing about her. But he was wrong. And she didn’t want to be around when he figured that out.
“Go away, TJ.Please. Just leave me alone,” she shouted, her voice cracking and dying away. She sat there for a long time, and at last, she heard him move, his steps taking him away until his car started up. Only when the sounds of his engine faded did she get on her knees, crawling across the floor like a baby until she reached her living room and heaved her body up and onto the couch.
Her phone rang a few minutes later, and she reached a listless hand, knowing who it was without looking. She hit ignore. He called again and again, and she was holding down the power button to turn off the phone and silence TJ for the night when a notification appeared for Holy Appimony.
Jeremy. She’d neglected him this week, but she was in no mood to talk. Something made her tap the icon anyway.
Jeremy: Tomorrow’s the big day, right? I just wanted to see how you’re feeling about it.
Melody wasn’t sure she cared about the play anymore. She wasn’t sure she cared about anything. Anything but the life-changing hurt and disappointment slashed across TJ’s face tonight.
Melody: I’m okay but I have a question, sorry. Unrelated. You’re a Christian right? I mean, obviously. So I’d like to know your thoughts about sex between boyfriends and girlfriends. Right or wrong? Asking for a friend…
She should be in a sweat waiting for his answer, chastising herself for asking such a question, knowing he’d see straight through it. But she didn’t care what Jeremy thought of her. She’d lost TJ tonight. So what if she lost Jeremy, too?
Jeremy: Yes, I’m a Christian, but I don’t think my opinion matters as much as God’s. To me, the Bible makes it clear that God ordained sex to be holy within the confines of marriage. Outside of that, it’s being used for the wrong thing. Not what God intended.
She remembered that ideology from her years of attending church with TJ. She’d never been sure if she believed it or not.
Melody: So anyone who has sex outside of marriage is bad?
Jeremy: Not at all. Do you have a Bible?
Melody: Why would I?
Jeremy: Just asking. Okay, use your phone. Look up this reference, read it, and write to me when you’re done. K? John 8:1-20.
Melody: Ok…
Dubiously, she minimized the dating app and opened her browser, typing in the Bible reference. Once she found the passage, she remembered hearing it before in the youth Sunday school she’d gone to with TJ and Lucy. The woman caught in adultery. It had sparked a lively discussion about how the religious leaders had used the cheating woman to trap Jesus into casting judgment upon her in direct rebellion of the Romans, but he had cleverly worked around their scheming.
The story sucked Melody in, and her eyes jumped quickly from verse to verse until she made it to the end.
Only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”
“No one, sir,” she said.
“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”
A lump clogged Melody’s throat. She wasn’t sure why.
Melody: Okay, I read it.
Jeremy: Good. Just so you know, adultery could have meant the woman was married and cheating, or the man was married and cheating, or neither were married and they were engaging in sex outside of marriage. The Bible’s not specific on that. That’s not the point, anyway. Whatever she was doing, it was wrong. That much is clear. But look at Jesus’s response. Did he write her off for her sin?
Melody’s eyes flooded with tears. Jesus hadn’t condemned her. Not at all.
Melody: No.
Jeremy: Exactly. He said he didn’t condemn her. But what else did he say?
Melody: To stop sinning.
Her head burned and swelled with fresh shame. How would she ever face TJ again? He believed she was this awful sinner now. Because she was.
