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Now, I had a case of the giggles. As he continued with the most horrendous jokes, we both laughed so hard that the kids came over and wanted to join in the fun.
“I wanna play,” Mary said.
“What are you guys up to?” Sarah said, sitting by her father.
Charles angled his phone away from her. “I’ve got a great joke about construction …”
The girls’ eyes widened as they waited for the punch line that I knew would be bad.
He finished with, “But I’m working on it.”
The girls’ faces were blank, and Charles and I started cracking up.
“Is that supposed to be a joke, Dad?” Sarah tilted her head, thoroughly confused.
Charles nodded and lifted a finger. “I’ve got another one.” He pressed the screen on his phone. “If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?”
Good Lawd this was horrid, but I couldn’t stop laughing.
Mary hopped on my lap, wrapping her arms around her center.
“Where’s the end of it?” Sarah asked.
Charles rubbed at his eyes. “That’s it. That’s the end of it. They’re guilty of resistinga rest. Get it?”
Sarah scrunched her nose. “Dad, you’re weird.”
“I can’t argue that,” he said, standing up and sobering a little. “Enough dad jokes. But don’t be surprised if I bust out with more later.”
Sarah jokingly rolled her eyes. “Please don’t, Daddy.”
Charles
After ice cream, I grabbed a pizza, and we headed back home to eat dinner and watch a movie. As I sat on the floor, my back against the couch, with Mary on my lap, I couldn’t help but savor the feeling of normalcy that I hadn’t had in years. Movie night.
When was the last time we had an honest-to-goodness movie night?
The marathon of princess movies just started, and there was no doubt in my mind that it would only end with the girls asleep on the floor and me carrying them up to their rooms.
Becky’s shoulder was against mine, as she was sandwiched between me and Sarah.
Mary let out a peal of laughter as Sebastian the crab belted out his song. It reminded me of so many years ago—with Sarah on my lap, my one hand on Nat’s stomach, Mary still forming in her belly.
A sharp pang hit me directly in the chest. I missed those times—the silent, simple moments that I had been able to enjoy with my family, where we were seated on a cushion of pillows on the floor. We never did sit on the couch like normal people. We would all be laid out on the floor, comfortable, how my family had always watched movies.
My gaze moved to my right, noting Becky’s smile, wide and genuine as Princess Ariel sang on the screen. Where Mary was snuggled against me, resting her head against my chest, Sarah was seated right next to Becky, shoulder to shoulder, their expressions similar and their eyes glued to the television.
I missed having this with someone—that comfortableness of enjoying each other’s company in the everyday moments. Having someone by me, with the girls.
I craved this familiarity with someone else, this closeness. And I just now realized how much I wanted it again.
I shook my head from the thoughts. I could absolutely not have that closeness with Becky—our nanny. We needed her. I did not need to complicate our relationship, our lives.
The analytical side of me ticked off reasons as to why it wouldn’t work—one being that Becky was my kids’ new constant. I couldn’t even attempt to have something between us because if it didn’t work out, we’d have to find a new nanny. I doubted Patty had another referral on her list; plus, I refused to go through another agency.
More than that, Becky just fit with us. And I didn’t want to even think of having to let her go because of my carelessness. That wouldn’t be fair to her or the girls.
The lights were dimmed, and the only light shining was from the flickers coming from the television. There was electricity in the air, heightened by the darkness, and I couldn’t help but watch her—against my better judgment and that internal argument I’d just had with myself—as she enjoyed the movie.
