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I pulled her higher, wrapping my arms around her waist and kissing her forehead. Tears welled up behind my eyes. I’d never felt so needed, so appreciated, so loved by a whole family.
Sarah hugged me next. “Thanks, Becky. For helping me yesterday with my homework.”
I pulled her against me. Mason, the usual math guru, had been out with his girlfriend yesterday, therefore unavailable to help Sarah. To be honest, I’d had to YouTube some tutorials for fifth-grade math. It wasn’t an easy feat.
As we sat at the table, it felt so surreal that, over the last month, I’d grown so close to this family. Where Patty and Eleanor had always made me feel like family, this felt different—because I was an integral part of the family, even in the very short time that I’d spent here.
It was so big, so important to me. This feeling of belonging.
I leaned against the chair, thinking that this had to be, hands down, the best birthday that I’d ever had. I exhaled a long sigh of contentment. Experiencing this immense joy, I paused, my gaze flickering to Charles.
I liked things how they were, so I had to think about this budding thing happening between Charles and me.
I wasn’t sure I was willing to risk it.
Charles
We were at Pete’s Pizza Palace. Sarah and Mary had suggested it, and when had I ever denied my girls something that was reasonable and within my means? When Mary had asked for a unicorn when she turned three, I couldn’t exactly buy her one. When she cried and cried, Brad had dressed up as one, horn and all. That year, for Halloween, he had worn the unicorn costume out to a party, but the horn was on his penis that time. Classy.
I had reserved us two corner booths, and I was watching my girls play Skee Ball with Becky when Brad strolled in, holding a medium-sized box wrapped in pink.
He slid into the booth, opposite me. “Hey. Sorry I’m late. Where are the girls?”
I tipped my chin toward the other side of the room, where Becky was roaring with laughter from who knew what. It made me smile to watch her be so happy. I hated that she had such shitty memories as a child, and I hoped we were creating memories of the best birthday for her.
“I can’t believe she wanted to spend her birthday at Pete’s Pizza Palace.” Brad lifted the box he’d brought in, giving it a little shake. “I didn’t know what to get her, so I got her Beats by Dre. You know … so she can block out the noise when the kids are annoying yet still be present.” He tapped a finger against his temple. “Smart, eh?”
I laughed. My brother, ladies and gentlemen.
Leaning in, he asked, “So, how’s it going between you two?”
My eyes found her again, and I sighed with longing. Actual longing. The first time I’d ever felt longing for anyone other than Natalie. “I don’t know. Normal.” I wanted it to be the opposite of normal between us. I raised an eyebrow at him. “And don’t think I haven’t noticed you and Mason spending more time in the city lately.”
He raised both eyebrows in innocence. “It’s only because we feel like you need time to get to know her when we’re not all up in the house.”
I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter anyway …”
He frowned. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“She’s not letting me in. It’s like she shuts me down every time I try to get to know her a little more.”
He leaned in and his eyebrows pulled together. “What is she hiding from?”
“I don’t know.” It was a lie because from what I had gathered, she was hiding from an ex-boyfriend. A possibly dangerous ex from how tightly she kept a lid on him. I peered back to where she was standing, assisting Mary with the Skee Ball, making her swing higher. “I told her how I feel. And this won’t work if she doesn’t let me in.”
He looked back toward the girls. “Maybe you need to give it some time.”
I nodded. “I’d be okay with that if only I thought time would help our situation.”
We both peered up when Mason strolled in with Janice on his arm. She wore four-inch heels, dark-washed jeans, and a fitted white halter top. Her hair was pulled up into a high ponytail. Swung over her arm was her Hermès bag that Mason had gotten her for her last birthday.
“Oh God. Here comes Barbie,” Brad whispered under his breath.
“Hey, guys!” Janice leaned into me and touched my cheek against hers, doing the same to Brad right after. “Where’s the birthday girl?”
I greeted Mason and answered Janice at the same time, “Over there. They were playing Skee Ball, but they’ve moved on to shooting hoops.”
Janice made a face. “Yeah, I’m not really good at games.” She lifted up a gift bag that saidBurberry. “I picked her up a gift. I got her a scarf.” She beamed.
