AllFreeNovel
Share Us
She pulls her diary from her handbag and we schedule weekly sessions on Thursday evenings.
She lets herself out of my flat with only a few more words, leaving me on the sofa.
And that’s where I wake up later that afternoon with my skin slick with sweat from the ray of sunshine I’m lying in.
My heart still hurts as I replay everything I spoke to Jade about. I want to hate Jocelyn for setting that up, for forcing me to open up and spill some of the ugliness that lingers inside me, but I can’t find it in me to do so.
So instead of being angry, I roll off the sofa and pad through to my bedroom where my phone is still sitting on the bedside table.
Ignoring the notification and messages from the guys, I find my chat with Jocelyn and shoot her a simple message.
Nico: I was brave. Thank you.
As if she’s waiting for it, the message shows as read immediately and the little dots start bouncing.
Jocelyn: I’m proud of you, Nico. I know you might not feel like it right now, but you’re going to come out of this stronger.
A small smile twitches at my lips because, despite everything, I’m able to begin to believe that she might be right.
Closing down her message, I open up the group chat with the guys, read through the jokes and memes they’ve sent throughout the day, and then go to Toby’s chat.
Toby: How are you feeling?
Toby: Bri is good. Jodie is taking good care of her.
Toby: But she still hates you.
“Arsehole.”
Nico: Thanks for that. I hope you’ve had a shitty day.
Lowering my phone, I stare across the room at my reflection in my mirrored wardrobe doors.
I chose them specifically because they give me full view of the bed. I knew they’d supply me with endless enjoyment as I railed nameless, faceless girls night after night. But as my own reflection blurs to nothing, there’s only one woman I see there.
Memories from the past few weeks slam into me and I forget about the world as I watch us roll around my bed together. My cock hardens as I picture myself spreading her thighs and eating her until she’s screaming, then flipping us over and letting her ride me until she falls apart once more, her pussy clamping down on my dick as she uses me for her own pleasure.
“Fuck, yeah,” I grunt, falling back in my bed and pushing my hand beneath my waistband.
My length is like steel as I wrap my finger around it, precum already leaking from the tip.
I pump myself a few times, losing myself in the sensations as I force my body to believe it’s not my hand but the images of my siren that are playing out in my mind.
I’m almost at the point of no return when I suddenly stop. I release my grip and blow out a long breath.
What I did earlier, confessing my vulnerability and inability to deal with my loss, was for her.
I promised myself in that hospital that I’d find a way to make this right, to prove to her, and the others, that this won’t beat me.
Pulling my hand free of my sweats, I push to my feet, my hard cock taunting me from behind the tented fabric as my balls scream in frustration with my lack of release.
But there’s something I need to do more than jerking off along like a loser.
I rummage through my school stuff until I find a notebook. Grabbing a pen, I sit on my bed and rest the pad against my thighs.
“Fuck it,” I hiss. I’ve already allowed myself to bleed out once today. Why should I allow the pain to stop so soon?
I tap my pen against the top of the paper for a few seconds before I force myself to stop overthinking what I need to say and just write.
