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“You should understand that it’s very inconvenient,” he went on. “I’m a proud scoundrel, as you know, and we’re not supposed to want things like wives, and marriages, and a quiet life in the country. But I do. I do want those things with you, Annabel. I’ve wanted them since our first kiss in the carriage.”
Everything inside of her went very, very hot…and then very, very cold. “I don’t…I’m not sure what you want me to say, Ezra.”
He got down on his knees beside the bench she was sitting on. Took her trembling hands between his sturdy ones. “Say yes. Yes to giving what we have a chance. Yes to a courtship. Yes to a marriage with a scoundrel who probably isn’t good enough for you, but damned if he isn’t going to spend every day trying to make himself better.”
“This is all happening sofast,” she said weakly. “I’m not sure…”
“We don’t have to be married tomorrow.”
“It’s not that, it’s…”
I don’t want to love someone else that it will hurt to lose.
Did she love Ezra?Couldyou love someone that you hardly knew? She thought that maybe, you could. And she suspected that she probably already did. But at what cost to her, if things went awry or he left her, as her parents and James had done? She didn’t want to endure that kind of pain again. Not if she was able to prevent it.
“No,” she whispered.
Ezra nodded. “The marriagewasa tad presumptuous of me. Let’s start with–”
“No to all of it. No to the courtship, to the proposal, to the wedding. I…” She slid her hands free. Circled them around her own body. Squeezed. “No, Ezra. Just…no.”
10
A Rose is Worth the Wait
Ezra may have takentemporary leave of his senses when it came to Annabel, but he wasn’t a man without his pride. While everything crumpled within him, he gave her a mocking salute, got to his feet, and walked out without another word.
He had on his coat and gloves, and was already dreaming of the bottle of brandy that awaited him at home, when his retreat was ruined by none other than the Duke of Monmouth. The two men, while never very close, retained a cordial relationship that had led to their paths occasionally intersecting over the years. They’d shared a pint at the Blue Fox Inn, enjoyed a memorable show at The Bull Yard, and smoked a few cigars together at various social events. So when Perth asked if he’d like to take a cigar in his study, Ezra couldn’t exactly decline.
“Thank you,” he said, accepting the tightly wrapped bundle of fermented tobacco leaves and raising it to his nose. It had a sweet, earthy aroma that he’d traditionally found pleasing, but in his current state the stench of it turned his stomach and he set the cigar aside.
“Not to your liking?” asked Perth, leaning a hip against the edge of his desk. Above a mouth curled in faint interest, the duke’s dark brown gaze was unreadable. “You can take it home and save it for later.”
Ezra slid the cigar into the inside pocket of his vest. “I’ll do that.”
“Excellent. Now that cordialities are out of the way, perhaps you can tell me what you were doing alone in the music room with my sister-in-law.” Perth drummed his fingers on the edge of the desk and gave a rather pained sigh. “I hadn’t planned on shooting anyone tonight, but Sir Kensington is in a particularly foul mood and would love for the opportunity to sink his talons into someone.”
“Sir Kensington?”
“The family cock. Don’t ask questions.”
Ezra blinked. “All Ihaveare questions.”
“As do I, beginning with what you were doing with Annabel.”
“If you must know, I was proposing.”
“Marriage?”
“Courtship and marriage. I thought it’d be better to get it over and done with all at once. Do you mind if I sit?” he asked, nodding at an oversized leather armchair.
“Go ahead,” said Perth, waving his arm. “How did the proposal go?”
“I’m in here discussing family cocks with her brother-in-law. How doyouthink it went?” Ezra asked, not bothering to keep the bitterness from creeping into his tone. “She rejected me.”
“Yes, well, Rosewood women are known to do that. It’s somewhat of a family tradition.” Using the open flame from a sconce on the wall, Perth lit the end of his cigar, drew in a mouthful of smoke, and blew it out slowly through his nostrils. “Do you know what my wife’s response was when I told her I couldn’t marry her?”
“I’m not sure what this has to do with an actual proposal, but–”
