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“So? Who's your horse in this race?” I ask.
“There's two, actually,” she finally relents. “Esther Burgh and Emily Hall.”
The moment she says the name, a bolt of energy shoots through me, and I feel a tightening in my gut. Emily Hall is a name I haven't heard in a long time. And the last time I heard it, I was on the other side of the country. Surely, it can't be the same woman. Could it? No. No way. It can't be. The name has to be a coincidence.
I clear my throat and compose myself quickly. “And what is it that sets these two apart?”
Lara folds her hands in her lap and purses her lips for a moment before speaking. “Both have the confidence, and I think, the strength, to deal with you. Even on your worst days.”
A wry grin slips across my face. “Am I really that bad?”
“You can be a monster some days,” she replies without the slightest trace of humor.
Yeah, I know I can be demanding. Or as Lara usually puts it – ‘challenging’. I'm not always the easiest guy to get along with. I can admit that. I want things done a certain way, and I expect people to not just honor their word but put their best efforts in, day in and day out. I expect people to do their job and do it well. This is a multi-billion-dollar company, not a day care center. I expect a lot out of my employees, but I'm never afraid to reward those who do their job well.
“A monster? That seems a little harsh,” I chuckle.
She shrugs. “Perhaps. But you can be a little tough to deal with sometimes.”
“That's fair. I don't deny that.”
“It takes a certain kind of personality to be able to handle you when you get into one of your moods,” she goes on. “A spine and an ability to cut through your bullshit is key.”
“Wow. Don't hold back,” I say with a slight chuckle. “Tell me how you really feel.”
She grins. “Oh, you know how I feel. I just want to make sure we get the right fit for you,” she says. “Somebody who clicks with you and does the job well. I think those two have what it takes.”
“Okay, then I guess there's no need to look at the other four,” I say. “I'll take a look at the resumes of those two and tell you who I want to go with.”
Lara nods and gets to her feet. She looks back at me and gives me a small grin as she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear.
“You're not really a monster, that was a little harsh,” she tells me. “Sorry to be such a bitch.”
“We're all entitled to be a little bitchy from time to time.”
“Have a good night, Aaron.”
I watch her walk out of the office and wonder what's going on with her. She's usually so buttoned-up, that I can't help but think that there's something personal at work here. I don't know what it is, but over the last few weeks, she's taken some digs at me that I'm at a loss to explain. I mean, I know she's having trouble with her boyfriend. So maybe that's it? Maybe she's just lashing out and knows I can take it. I honestly can't say.
All that matters to me, though, is that she does her job to the best of her ability. And in that respect, she's doing that and then some. So, I'll let her work through whatever she needs to work through.
Picking up the tablet, I lean back in my chair and call up the first file. I skim Esther Burgh’s basics. Nothing really stands out about her to me, but I trust Lara's instincts and read on people. Even though I know I'm pretending to do my due diligence here, in the back of my mind, I want to skip to the next file already. I want to know. I have to know.
Finally finished skimming the first file, I call up the next one – Emily Hall's file – and the moment I see the photograph at the top of her resume, I feel my chest tighten and a breath catch in my throat. I know people say it and don't really mean it, but Emily Hall doesn't look like she's aged a single day in the last – hell, I don't even know how many years it's been,
Her long, honey-blonde hair frames a face that has cool, alabaster colored skin. Her eyes are rich, deep, and the color of caramel. It's only a headshot, but I can see she still has that same ethereal beauty that had first captivated me all those years ago. It wasn't long before I found out that she was far more substance than style, and I found myself hopelessly hooked.
I'm a man of reason and logic, not given to emotions or sentimentality, but there was always something about Emily Hall that cut through all of my defenses. Something about her knocked all my walls down. She's the first – and only – woman I've ever dated who actually made me feel something.
At least, made me feel something I couldn't explain. It wasn't simply a matter of lust – not that there wasn't plenty of that. What I wanted was more than that. I wanted her down to my very core. It was less about the sex than it was about consuming her – all of her. I wanted to give myself over to her and have her give herself over to me.
Emily Hall had captured me in ways no woman did before or has ever since. And as I stare into those deep, soulful eyes in that angelic face of hers, I feel a stirring within me – a flutter in my chest and gut I haven't felt in a long, long time.
I try to push it away ruthlessly, telling myself it's nothing more than a brief bout of nostalgia. It's simply a longing for an idealized past – one that may or may not have actually existed. The funny thing about people is that we tend to romanticize things in our past. We build them up as these great and wonderful things, when they were average. At best.
As I gaze at her smooth, pristine face, I wonder if that's what I'm doing now. I wonder if I'm romanticizing a past with Emily and making myself feel more than I actually did at the time. After all, if she'd captivated me that intensely back then, why aren't we together now? Why did our relationship, such as it was, last all of a semester, if that?
And perhaps, the biggest question of all in my mind – if we really did have something that special, why in the hell had she up and disappeared like she did? Why didn’t she even say goodbye?
