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She nods “I know you can. But by your own admission, you get lonely sometimes.”
“That's what I have you for.”
Olivia laughs. “True. Except for the fact that I'm not going to give you mind-blowing, earth-shattering, toe-curling orgasms anytime soon.”
I shrug but can't keep the grin off my face. “Who says I need those things?”
“We all need those things, girl.”
She's right about the companionship angle. I do get lonely sometimes, and I could definitely use a friendly voice and companion to hang out with. I know I can't put that all on Olivia since, she's got a career and family of her own to worry about. She simply can't spend all of her waking moments with me. Having somebody to spend time with would be – nice. It'd probably even be good for me, since I'm living like a hermit. A person can't live a life of isolation like that for very long. Or at least, they shouldn't.
And of course, now that I've had my first taste of it in years, I can't deny that hanging out with somebody who can give me the same sort of powerful, breathtaking orgasms Aaron gives to me might not be such a bad thing, either. Not that I'm going to go set myself up on Tinder and start sleeping with everything that moves. That's still not my style.
Honestly, the only person I want right now is the one person I shouldn't let myself have again.
“I'm not saying you have to act on it right now, but think about it, Emily. If he's a good guy who cares about you, treats you well, and is as gorgeous as Aaron Steel is, why wouldn't you want to be with him?” Olivia presses. “You two obviously still have some strong chemistry brewing. Even now, after all this time has passed between you guys.”
“Yeah, maybe,” I say softly.
“And I personally want to believe it means something that you two found yourselves in each other's lives again after all that time,” Olivia continues. “I mean, the odds of you two finding your way back to each other after all this time, so far from where you met – it's miniscule, Emily.”
“I know.”
“Don't you think that means something?”
I shrug. “I never put stock in omens or things like that,” I tell her. “Sometimes things just happen. I don't think there's any guiding universal force or higher power, so I don't ascribe meaning to things that just happen.”
She grins wide. “That's okay, I'll do it for you.”
I laugh. “I appreciate that.”
Olivia checks her watch. “Damn. I have to get going for my shift.”
I nod. “Of course you do. Go save some lives, Wonder Woman.”
Olivia stands and comes around the table, wrapping her arms around my shoulders. She plants a big kiss on my cheek then heads for the door. Before she leaves, she turns around and gives me a meaningful stare.
“Think about what I said, Emily. It's not often in life we get a second chance with somebody so perfectly suited for us,” she says. “Maybe there is no reason to Aaron being brought back into your life. But – maybe there is. Don't shut out that possibility, Emily. Talk to him. Seriously, sit him down and have the conversation with him.”
Olivia blows me a kiss and locks the door behind her as she leaves, shutting me inside with my thoughts, memories, and most of all, my doubts.
There's no question I'm attracted to Aaron. That I have genuine feelings for him. I just don't know how he feels about me. Nor do I know whether it's even a good idea to get involved with him, even if he does return my feelings. It's a tricky path to traverse. One I don't know that I should even bother setting foot on for all the trouble it could cause me – my possible unemployment being chief among them.
Still, even knowing it could cause me so many problems, I can't deny that part of me that wants to roll the dice. That wants to take the risk of confessing my feelings for him and letting the chips fall where they may.
I stand up again and walk to the windows, looking out at the onset of dusk as day gives way to night and darkness claims the city. I try to reason it all out in my head, putting together pro and con lists like I do. But as I try to organize my thoughts into something coherent, the only thing I'm able to think about is having sex with Aaron.
A warmth in my chest grows as I recall the way he smelled, the way his mouth tasted, the feel of his body pressed to mine, and the feeling of having him inside of me. All of my senses are engaged as the replay of last night comes flooding back into me, nearly taking my breath away all over again.
As I stand before the windows, with this erotic highlight reel running through my head – completely unable to stop it or focus my attention elsewhere – I realize that I'm in deep, deep shit when it comes to Aaron Steel.
Even worse, that I kind of like it.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Aaron
Over the last few weeks, the tension that marked our return from Portland has eased somewhat. We're at least talking and can even joke around a bit more now, which is a step in the right direction. Things seem to be getting back to normal. Or are at least headed in that direction. I can work with that.
