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“I’m keeping the baby, Aaron.”
“I kind of figured that, too,” I reply.
There’s an inscrutable expression on her face. About the only way I can describe it is – disappointed. Or perhaps angry. Maybe a mixture of both. I don’t know what she expected from me. Did she expect me to start turning cartwheels, or throwing confetti, or something?
The ramifications of a completely unanticipated pregnancy are wide and far-reaching – in many ways I can’t even conceive of just yet, I’m sure. Yeah, I’ve always thought the idea of having a family of my own was intriguing. Maybe it was something I wanted. Someday. It was always an abstract thought in the back of my mind. Not something I was seriously considering.
This is not how I planned to start a family – if I ever actually started a family. I’m not ready for a family. I haven’t had time to think it through or plan for it. I haven’t had the chance to prepare myself. If I was ever going to have a family, I wanted it to be on my terms. When I have everything set, planned, and sorted. When I’m ready.
But the fact of the matter is, ready or not, I’m going to have a baby coming into this world.
“I just don’t understand how this happened,” I mutter. “You take the pill..”
A rueful chuckle passes Emily’s lips. “Like our old sex ed classes always told us – nothing is ever one hundred percent –”
“Except abstaining,” I finish for her. “I guess they were right.”
An expression of hurt touches her features one moment but is gone again the next. Emily is doing a tremendous job of controlling herself and keeping her emotions from showing – too much, at least. I can tell the fact that I’m not jumping up and down, excited to be bringing another life into this world, bothers her. I can’t say I blame her, but in fairness, what did she expect?
Emily clears her throat and won’t meet my eyes. “Anyway, I just thought you should know what I decided,” she states flatly. “If you choose to not be a part of our baby’s life, that’s your decision and I’ll respect it.”
I sit back and continue trying to process everything that’s happening. Everything she’s saying. I’m barely comprehending the fact that I’m going to have a child – I haven’t stopped to think about anything else at this point.
I know she’s expecting me to say something, to provide her some with some answers. This is all happening at lightspeed – way too fast for even my head to keep up with. I’m trying, but I’m not there just yet. My mind is spinning as I try to figure out how to kick the can down the road for a while.
This is not the future I’d so meticulously planned for myself. Not by a long shot.
I open my mouth to speak, but Emily holds a hand up to stop me before I get started. “Don’t say anything yet, Aaron,” she orders me. “I know this is a huge, life-changing deal. I’m still trying to wrap my own head around it all. So, take some time to think before you say anything – before you commit to anything.”
“Emily, I –”
“No, don’t answer just yet, Aaron,” she repeats. “I don’t want you making promises you’re not sure you can keep. If you’re going to be in this, I need you – our baby needs you – to be in this one hundred percent.”
I move to reply, but then see an expression on Emily’s face that stops me in my tracks. She’s not looking at me anymore – she’s looking over my shoulder. I turn and follow her gaze and see nothing but a crowd of people waiting to be seated.
Then I notice him. He’s standing slightly behind an older couple, but his eyes are locked onto Emily. A cruel smirk is tugging one corner of his mouth upward. He’s so laser-focused on Emily, it’s almost as if he doesn’t see me sitting here.
I turn back to Emily. Her face is blanched and etched with fear. “Is that him? Is that Robert?” I question her.
She doesn’t say anything for a long moment, her fear suddenly blending with anger. It looks like part of her wants to turn and run while the other part of her wants to tear his face off.
“Emily,” I snap, pulling her attention back to me. “Is that Robert?”
She nods. “Yeah. That’s him.”
“Sit here and do not move,” I command.
I stand without hesitation and walk toward the restaurant’s lobby. As I approach, Robert seems to come back to himself and spots me. His greasy smile suddenly dips into a frown and he turns, quickly walking out of the restaurant. I hustle outside and search the crowded sidewalk, spotting him among the throng of people. I rush after him and see Robert look over his shoulder, then pick up his pace when he sees me coming. He ducks around a corner, trying to lose me, but I stay on his tail, closing the distance between us.
I catch him before he can get around the next corner, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt. He grunts as I slam him up against the wall of the building, his eyes wild. People passing by give us strange looks and wide berths, nobody wanting to get in between us.
Robert is about an inch shorter than me, but I have fifty pounds of muscle on him. He’s lean but not without some muscle. He’s got shoulder-length dark hair and darker eyes. He’s got a thick but raggedy looking beard. To my mind, he looks like the kind of guy who’d be dealing meth out of the back of the same van he’s living in. How Emily ever got involved with a guy like this is way beyond me.
“Hey, what the fuck man?” he spits.
I lean close to him, our noses just inches apart. “That condo you trashed and tried to burn down? Yeah, that was mine, you fucking asshole.”
A slow grin tugs at the corner of his mouth. “Got no idea what you’re talking about.”
