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“I doubt that, Aaron,” he says. “I think you're so hypercritical and expect so much of yourself that you physically can't be a shitty father. I don't think it's possible.”
I sigh and take another sip of my tea, letting it all sink in. I'd like to think he was right, but I didn't exactly have the best example of a great father. Not that he was bad, he just wasn't always – present. Not even when he was there. He was so busy preparing me for life that he forgot to teach me how to live. And more than anything, that's something I want to avoid passing on to any child of mine. Yet, it's such a part of me and who I am, I don't know that I can avoid it.
“As the Devil's advocate here, let me say that although I'm still incredibly uneasy and wary about this relationship with Emily, I've never seen you more taken with anybody, Aaron.”
“What do you mean?”
“Just that ever since the two of you started seeing each other, I've noticed a real change in you. You're lighter. You laugh more. You're not so bogged down in your head all the time, and you're freer. All of the changes have been positive,” he explains. “I know I've been skeptical as hell about all of this and have tried to dissuade you, but even I have to admit that she's been good for you. You're different, Aaron. And that's not a bad thing.”
“Think so?”
He nods again. “I know so. I see it in you every day. You're different,” he says. “Which tells me that maybe, just maybe, Emily and the whole starting a family thing is agreeing with you. Maybe this is that missing piece in your life you've always been searching for.”
I run a hand through my hair, absorbing everything he's said. Am I really that different with Emily around? There's no question I care for her. She's impacted me like no other woman in my life and she's really captured my heart. I just – everything hit me so out of the blue that my default setting is to take a couple of steps back to assess. And I still don't know if I'm ready for all of this.
“To be honest, that's not the biggest concern on my plate right now,” I tell Pete. “It's this Robert asshole. He just won't leave her alone and –”
“He's not your problem, Aaron. That's something you want to steer well clear of,” he intones. “Seriously man, stepping into the middle of that can rain down a whole boatload of shit onto you. That's not your problem. That asshole is the police's problem.”
I shake my head. “He's my problem, too,” I growl emphatically. “The fucker tried to burn down my condo. Not to mention the fact that he trashed everything in my place. That makes him my problem.”
“I'm telling you, Aaron, this is not something you want to get involved in.”
I let out a long breath. “If I'm going to have anything with her, or if I'm going to build any sort of life with her and our child, it’s my problem –”
“Not really. That's what the cops are for. They're trained for this kind of thing, Aaron.”
I continue on like he hadn't cut me off. “... and I’m going to have to deal with it,” I explain. “One way or another.”
Movement in the corner of my eye draws my attention. I turn to find the door swinging inward slowly. Emily is standing there, her already pale face blanching another couple of shades as she stares at me. She's holding a clipboard in her hands with a stricken look on her face – one that is both angry and anguished.
“Sorry, I didn’t know you were in a meeting,” she stammers.
“No, it’s fine –”
“There’s just a few forms for you to fill out and sign,” she cuts me off. “I’ll just leave the clipboard on my desk. I’m going to take off for the day, if that’s okay. I have a – thing.”
“That’s fine,” I respond slowly.
“Great, thanks.”
She turns quickly and hustles back down the hallway, leaving Pete and I standing there looking after her in mutual confusion. She seemed so nervous. Skittish. Not to mention, angry as hell, judging by the gleam in her eye. She wanted to be anywhere but there in that moment.
“What was that all about?” Pete asks.
“No idea,” I reply. “Unless –”
“Unless what?”
I look at him, a surge of adrenaline shooting through me. Replaying it in my mind again, I focus in on the stricken, anguished look on Emily's face. Seeing that tears away small pieces inside of me. I never want her to feel pain. But I suddenly realize why she'd acted so strangely just now.
“She overheard us,” I tell him. “Overheard us, took it out of context, and completely misinterpreted what I was saying.”
Pete cocks his head. “You think so?”
“Yeah, I know so.”
I get to my feet and walk swiftly out of my office, trying to catch Emily before she leaves. I need to talk to her, because I can understand how some of the things I said – seen in a certain light and taken in a certain way – might upset her. I need to set things right. I need to set a lot of things right.
