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And as soon as I touched a hot cloth to the first hole, he growled.
“Don’t even think about it,” I snapped at him. “Unless you want to die from blood poisoning.”
"Woman…” he snarled, his claws clenching, but he didn’t move. “I told you to just let me die.”
“And I said no.” I dabbed at the wound with hot water, lifting the remains of the poultice from last night. “Why do you want to die so badly, anyway? Isn’t there one thing worth living for?”
Ash was silent for a long time, and I began cleaning and applying fresh poultice in peace.
Finally, he sighed, his back heaving under my hands. “Maybe,” he admitted. “Maybe one thing, but I do not know if she will forgive my stupidity.”
“You’d be surprised at what people can forgive,” I said lightly, my heart thrumming in my throat. I moved on to the next wound, moving gently when Ash’s back muscles twitched from the pain.
“I would tell her that I am sorry,” he said gruffly, his ears laid flat against his head. “I would tell her that I was mistaken.”
I rested my hand on his shoulder. “I’m sure she would accept your apology and forgive you.”
“I would tell her that her spirit was whole and powerful, and that I am a very stupid, short-sighted Beast.”
“No,” I said, moving on to the next wound before my heart leapt right out through my chest. “You are many things, hot-tempered and brash, but stupid is not one of them. You did not know her from anyone else, and sometimes people must prove themselves.”
“She has proved herself many times, and I have not.” Ash rumbled. “I would also apologize by bringing her the fattest doe in the Wood.”
“She’d likely share with you.”
He was quiet for a long moment, allowing me to finish cleaning a particularly nasty wound. “That would be nice.”
It hurt my heart, how lonely and forlorn he sounded.
“You just need to rest longer, and then you can find the fattest doe,” I promised. “She’ll be here waiting.”
“Will she?” Ash turned his head, one bright blue eye meeting mine. “Because the problem is, I do not intend to leave her at all.”
His claws gripped my hand, and I squeezed him back.
“Then don’t. Stay right here with me.”
Chapter Twenty
After that,he let me finish tending his wounds in silence. I cleaned and reapplied the poultice, working quietly as the Beast was lost in his own thoughts.
Finally I couldn’t stand the quiet any longer. “What made you despise Vostok so much?” I asked, working my way down his back to one of the more delicate wounds near his spine. I knew that he had lost his brother… but that was all.
Ash heaved a sigh under me. It was like feeling a warm mountain breathe under my hands.
“It was a long time ago… just before your time. My brother discovered that the pack Alpha had fallen in love with the Vessel.”
My hands froze briefly, and then I continued my work as though nothing had gone wrong.
I knew so little about my mother, or the Beast she’d chosen to run to. It was strange to me that there were werewolves in the Wood who remembered those times.
“He saw that the men of Vostok were becoming more and more hostile to the creatures of the Wood. He begged him to let her go, or else he would bring war to us… but the Alpha adored her and refused.” Ash let out a snort. “Now I understand, of course. My brother was right, but so was the Alpha. There was no easy path.”
“How did they catch him?” I asked quietly, keeping my hands busy so I wouldn’t notice them shake.
“The priest of the village knew the Vessel was slipping into the Wood by night. He and his men dug pits, lined the bottom with sharpened stakes… and one night, when my brother tried to stop the Alpha from meeting with her, he…” Ash fell silent. It was so quiet I heard him swallow. “I buried him in the Wood. I would not forgive the priests, nor the man who is now your tormentor. Then they captured the Alpha and the Vessel, and burned them alive… I forced myself to watch. Then I did not understand how love could have driven them to so much destruction. All I saw was what it had taken from us.”
I placed the last poultice and allowed Ash to roll onto his side, wiping my hands and sitting cross-legged in front of him.
