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Dark Haven Library
My entire world had shattered around me the first time I’d read Roman’s notes. The revelation I was not the host but simply an alter. That my brother hadn’t died,hisbrother had.
I’m dead.
It was hard enough to wrap my mind around, especially when I feel like a person.
Hiro believes his brother died protecting him. Roman has easily fallen into that role, taking on anything Hiro struggles to face. They’re two sides of a coin, one soft and naive at times while the other is a true skeptic, trusting no one and sheltering his other half from the world. At this point, the information could prove detrimental to the system.
Whoever wrote those notes was correct. No matter how hard I tried to conjure up memories of that night, it was always Roman who died for me, saved me, leaving me alone and barely coping.
But I was wrong.
The further I flipped through the file, finally ready to see more, I found our birth certificate. Roman’s name was there on the title, Hiro nowhere to be found.
My entire reality was now shaken, everything I thought I knew was a lie, and I wasn’t sure how to move forward.
Roman had tried to break it gently in our journal, but he couldn’t hide the truth. The pain in that passage struck me in the heart, shattering it for the guilt and pain I knew he felt. Roman was always there to save me, yet he couldn’t save me that night.
Yet I knew that wasn’t on him; he was in an impossible situation and none of us deserved the outcome.
Generally I would hide behind Roman, cope with this by avoidance, but for once in our lives, Roman needed me. He needed me to keep him human, to not let him dissolve in his own head, to be strong.
Could I be strong?
Would I be able to protect him from his own self-deprecation when I didn’t even feel like I should get a say.
Would Roman do this if the roles were reversed? Would I ever allow him to feel like less because he wasn’t the host?
The answer was an immediate no, easily talking myself out of that hole from the start. Roman had never in my mind been less. He wasmorethan I was. The strength, the brawn, everything I couldn’t be. As I was his comfort, his balance, and the one he could confide in without judgment.
For a moment I swore I could see him in my mind’s eye, pacing back and forth. Guilt. Confusion. Grief. Devotion. Pain. It all melded together as he fought through it in his own pocket of my brain.
No wonder people thought we were a freak. It wasn’t a sensation I could explain, even if I were willing. This was the closest to real communication we’d ever had, yet we knew each other well, could see each other.
“That’s an awful lot of thinking.” Drake startled me and the papers scattered to the floor as I clutched my chest. His hand fell to my thigh, squeezing slightly. “Sorry, I just didn’t want you over here alone if you were battling something so serious.”
“W-what?” I stuttered out. “Serious?” My eyes met his and my breath caught. Drake was gorgeous and intimidating, and right now his emerald eyes burned with an intensity that had warmth spreading through me as I was once more seated firmly in reality.
It was a relief to see him. He’d been in and out for days, bringing supplies and ensuring us we were safe here, but we knew he wasn’t. Every day the circles under his eyes grew and so did my fear for him.
“I can’t read your mind, Hiro.” He laughed. “But I’d say it’s serious if you’re glaring at the notebook.” He let go of my leg and leaned down, gathering up the fallen items and setting them on the end table. “You want to talk about it?”
“No?”
Drake chuckled. “Is that a question or a statement?”
“Fuck, I don’t know,” I groaned with a strained laugh. “I’m not even real, why does it matter what I think?”
Drake propped himself over me, a hand on either side of the cushions I was leaning against, his face hovered inches from mine. It felt like he was staking a claim as he stared down at me with possessive heat. The tension was so thick it was hard to breathe.
“Not real?” he questioned. I nodded, swallowing hard. Drake leaned closer and ran his nose along my throat to my ear, tongue tracing the shell of it before leaning back. “Yet I hear your heart racing in response to me, Hiro. It isn’t Roman who is doing that, but you.”
“He doesn’t feel that way about you,” I admitted in a shaky voice. My filter once again slipped away as he filled my senses, forcing me to stay out of my head.
“Good, because the feeling is mutual, on both accounts,” Drake promised. “I’m going to kiss you now, Hiro. And I’d like to touch you, but you have to tell me you want it. That you want me.”
“I’m scared,” I admitted. “Not just because of this but because of...”
