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But I interrupt him. “If you want your paycheck, you better fucking earn it or I’ll find someone else to do it for me. Call him off.Now.”
“Yes, sir, Mr. Hayes.”
I disconnect the receiver and glance in my rearview, waiting and wondering if this incompetent fuck is going to do what's asked of him. It's either that or I stop this car and put a bullet in the cop's head. That alternative is a little messier to clean up than a speeding ticket.
But I’ll do whatever it takes to get to her sooner rather than later.
I whiz through another intersection and turn left at the next, my car struggling to grip the pavement as I push it to its limit. The blue and red lights follow, hot on my ass.
Guess I’m going to have two cops to kill—the one behind me and the one who didn’t do his job.
The idea isn’t all that unappealing. I don’t necessarily mind exterminating useless people but it’s the fact that it might cut into my time with June that I’m concerned about.
Luckily for them though, that won’t happen tonight, because when the flashing lights suddenly stop blaring in my rear-view mirror and the cop car stops pursuing me, I realize that I’m in the clear.
One obstacle down.
I skid to a stop at the gated entrance to our house. I fumble with the fucking switch, pushing and repushing buttons until finally, the thing cooperates and opens. I rush the rest of the way in, forcing my car into park in the garage and hopping out before it has a chance to cool down. I bolt around the other luxurious vehicles parked in here and burst through the door.
June stands there, a sight for sore eyes, wearing the dress I had picked out for her and the bracelet I gave her after she graduated from college.
Simon is next to her, entirely too close for my liking.
Both of them stare at me, a bit startled, like I may have interrupted something.
June is the first to speak. “You made it.”
I continue into the house, stepping in front of Simon and pressing my lips to June's cheek. "With two minutes to spare. Give me five to get changed out of this?" I tug at the collar of my shirt.
“I think you look pretty damn good.” June squeezes my hand.
“I’ll be quick, promise.” I turn to Simon and shift my tone. “You’re dismissed.”
"Aye, aye, captain." Simon avoids my stare and looks at June. "See you tomorrow."
“See you then,” she confirms.
Once he’s gone, a weight is lifted from my chest. It’s our fault he’s around but it doesn’t make it any less intolerable. Simon Beckett is in love with my soulmate, and he’s the reason she almost died. But he’s also the reason she didn’t.
I hate him more than I hate myself for losing all those years with her.
And here he is, spending more time with her than I am, because of a threat I haven’t yet eliminated. A problem I’m desperately trying to solve so Dom, Magnus, and I can finally give in to our desires. So we can maybe breathe a little easier at having brought the woman we collectively love into our dangerous world.
Until then, it’s early mornings and long, sleepless nights away from my better half.
“Is something going on between you two?” I ask her even though the second the question leaves my lips, regret courses through me.
June strolls over to the table where various booze lines the top. She pulls a crystal cup from the tray and pours herself a dram of bourbon. “Is that how we’re going to start the night, Co?”
"No, you're right. I'm sorry." I follow her over, take the cup from her grasp, and sip some of the golden liquid. "I shouldn't have doubted you." I give her the drink back and kiss her cheek before disappearing upstairs.
It’s not her that I doubt, it’s me. Ten years ago, I never would have wondered whether she loved another, but that was when I gave her all of me. Now, she only gets the pieces and parts left over that I manage to scrounge together. She deserves someone whole, someone present, someone capable of giving her everything she could ever want. That time apart changed me, as did the person I morphed into in her absence. I turned cold, callous…murderous. And the worst part of all is that I didn’t hate the person I became. It was easy once I flipped the switch, almost like that version of me was just under the surface the whole time. June was what kept the evil at bay, and without her, it consumed me fully.
I want to be what she needs, but what if I’m not capable of it? What if I’m too damaged, too broken, too fucking wicked to be the man that is worthy of her love? What if I’m too far gone to be saved? What if there’s no coming back from the things that I’ve done?
If she knew the truth of what I’m capable of, she’d walk away.
And maybe that’s why I busy myself with the tasks of eliminating threats; I’m terrified to admit that if she saw me,reallysaw me, then this fairytale would be over. But if I keep giving her less and less of me, she’ll be gone either way.
