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But who ever really knows what they’re going to get when they begin a relationship—let alone multiple, with three incredibly complicated men?
I just didn’t expect it to bethisfucking hard. I can handle the violence. The illegal activities. The entire criminal side of things. I don’t even mind the late nights and early mornings. But it’s the pushing me aside and disregarding me like I don’t exist. Like I don’t matter. That’s what hurts. And that’s what I cannot accept. They don’t trust me and it shows in every hushed conversation they have and the way they refuse to include me in literally every aspect of their lives outside of this place. I only matter to them when I’m down on my knees or having a laugh with their so-called enemy.
I never asked for Simon to be a part of my life. I never insisted I spend every fucking day with him. That was them. And now they’re mad at me for treating him decent. For having a relationship with him. One that is strictly platonic. One that makes me wonder what life would have been like if I had met him first. But I’d never even fucking have that thought if they didn’t shut me out and shove me toward this man they hate.
How did they not realize how entirely fucked this whole plan of theirs was?
Then they have the audacity to blame and accuse me of being unfaithful.
"I know it isn't," Dominic tells me. "None of this is fair. And the way Hayes just spoke to you was completely unacceptable. I will deal with him later, but right now, you are my concern. Do you hear me?" He holds me closer like he actually cares.
I mumble a half-assed acknowledgment.
“I just need a little time.” Dom sighs. “And then I’ll tell you anything you want to know. But until then, you have to trust me.”
"Trust you?" I sit up and glare at him through the darkness of the bathroom. I can barely see his outline, but if looks could kill, I’m sure he’d be dead. “That’s all I’ve ever done. What does it get me, Dom? Fucking nothing.” I try to remove myself from his lap, but he holds onto me. “You didn’t even bother to let me know you were going to stand me up the other day. How do you think that made me feel? Huh? You knew how important that date was to me and you didn’t even bother to call.” I wriggle under his strong grip. “You left me with Simon.”
“I’m sorry.” Dominic holds onto me.
“Sorry doesn’t cut it, Dom. You hurt me. You continue to hurt me.” Tears roll down my cheeks, months’ worth of emotions spilling over the surface.
“I’m here now, okay?” Dom keeps his strong arms around my body. “I’m going to make it up to you. I will.”
“How? The only thing I want from you, you won’t give it to me.” Sobs wreck through me and add to how fucking frustrated I am. I don’t want to feel this way. I don’t want him to see me like this. I don’t want to be this fucking weak—all because of a man. Three men. Who refuse to keep any of the promises they’ve made.
“It’s not that simple.” Dom sighs. “But I’ll fix this. I’ll fix everything. And then we’ll get our happily ever after.”
“What if it’s too late for us?”
Even in the dark I can spot his jaw tense. “It will never be too late for us.” Dominic places his large hand on my cheek. “Don’t give up on me, not yet, please.”
There’s a desperation, a tenderness to his tone that’s so unfamiliar that it actually makes my heart skip a beat. I’ve gone six months in the dark, what’s another week? And if he breaks yet another of the vows he makes, then I’ll know for sure where we stand. I love him enough to give him that.
“Okay,” I whisper.
He rests his forehead against mine. “You are the only thing in this world I cherish. Give me some time, and I’ll prove that to you.”
“Okay,” I repeat, because what other options do I have.
I don’t want to be without him. I don’t want to be without Coen or Magnus, either. I don’t even want to lose Simon, whatever we may be. He is my friend. My constant. And without him, I don’t have anything else I can count on. He’s been there for me more than anyone else, and it might be strictly out of obligation, but it feels like more than that. Like maybe I matter to him, too. In a perfect world, the guys would stop being so fucking controlling and distant, and Simon would still be around. But that’s the thing about life, it’s far from perfect.
“I’ll call my pilot and make arrangements for tomorrow,” Dominic says.
“What?”
“Me and you. Let’s skip town for a day. We can go up north. I know a good bed and breakfast in Washington.”
“Washington, like the state?” I ask him.
“Yeah, you ever been?” He skims his thumb over my cheek.
“No, never.” I leave out the part where I’ve never been out of California, let alone traveled to another state.
I grew up poor, and I’ve remained that way until they came into my life. Surviving was always the main goal, not going on trips. Hell, the only reason I’ve seen the ocean is because we live sort of close to the coast. Coen and I spent a lot of our time together there, getting burnt during the day and laying under the stars at night.
I guess that’s one of the perks of having a dead mother and deadbeat dad—lack of parental supervision. I’m not entirely sure if my father knew I wasn’t home, or if he would have cared if he found out I was with a boy.
It wasn’t just any boy, though. The majority of my childhood years were spent with the blond-haired, blue-eyed kid who would have risked his life to ensure my safety. Not much has really changed, aside from him turning into a massive prick.
