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“Yes. She has known for weeks,” she whispers.
I sigh. “I had no idea.”
Why didn’t she say anything to me? Things would have been easier if she did, and I could have been honest with her. Then again, after today's news things would have become complicated again. Because even if I did break up with her weeks ago, she would still be pregnant.
“Me neither. So, what is going on in your head, Ezra, after finding out you are going to be a daddy?” I can tell it is hard for her to ask.
“Honestly, I am still processing it. She told me and then left to meet her friends. I don’t even know how far along she is or if the baby is even mine.” I still think she has been cheating too, but I don’t know for sure.
Alana breaks eye contact with me, and I hear her drawing in a breath. “She is over three months. As for the baby being yours, I believe it is. She told me she has gotten a DNA test, and the results will be here next week to prove it because she knew you would ask her for one.” Alana seems to have more information than I do about my baby.
“Oh, okay…”
“Ezra, I know this isn’t how you wanted things to be, but are you happy about the baby?” she asks softly.
“Yes, because I want to be a father one day. I didn’t expect it to happen so soon. I wish you were carrying my baby, but I can’t change that.” I become emotional, so many mixed ones at once.
Alana smiles at me. “You are going to be a great daddy.”
“I don’t know what to do about the entire situation. What does it mean for us?”
The last thing I want is to lose Alana. Just because Bella is pregnant, it doesn’t mean I need to be with her. We can work something out, co-parent and make sure our baby has the best life possible.
A look flashes in Alana’s eyes that I don’t like. I feel like I am not going to like what she says next.
“W-We aren’t important right now. Your main priority needs to be your, um, ch-child. You need to try to fix things with Bella,” she stammers, facing away from me. I can hear her trying to hold back the tears.
“Of course we are important, Alana. Fix things with Bella? What do you mean by that? You want me to stay with her?” I exclaim, raising my voice. I don’t mean to.
“You need to try. You want a family, Ezra. Bella is giving you that. Your baby deserves to have both parents around, not seeing you until every weekend or whatever.” She sobs.
I can’t believe the words coming from her mouth. Does she want to end things between us? No, it isn’t going down like that. I will find a way to have both of them in my life. I am not letting Alana walk away, not after everything we have been through.
“You don’t mean that, bright eyes. Please, look at me,” I plead, resting my hand on her knee.
She shudders and slowly turns back to me. She rests her hand on my cheek, caressing it with the pad of her thumb. “It is the right thing to do. I don’t want to lose you, but Bella is going to need you throughout her pregnancy. You don’t want to miss anything like appointments, scans, or shopping.”
“It doesn’t need to be this way. We can work something out. Please, Alana, don’t do this. Give me some time to come up with a plan. I don’t want to be with Bella. I want to be with you. I can have you and my baby as part of my life, no matter what it takes,” I reply confidently, refusing to give up on us.
“Do you honestly believe Bella is going to allow that? For you to continue your relationship with me while she carries your baby? She warned me to stay away from you. I refuse to be a reason for her to keep your child from you,” she protests, frantically shaking her head.
“It isn’t her choice who I am with. I will be there for her throughout her pregnancy, attend appointments, and give her anything she needs, but I am not giving her me. Our relationship is a lie. It is toxic, and that won’t be good for our kid. I will be there for my son or daughter, and make sure I’m a huge part of their life.”
I can make it work. Surely Bella wants what is best for our child. Yes, she is manipulative and not the nicest person, but I’d like to believe she would be different after becoming a mother. She can’t be completely cold and heartless, and if she isn’t, she doesn’t deserve to be a mother.
Alana searches my eyes with hers. “What do you expect me to do?”
“To give me a little time to fix things. Please, angel, don’t end us. I need you, even more so now. All I ask is for a period to work something out. I love you so damn much, bright eyes. I am not ready to lose you. Not now. Not ever.” I’ll drop to my knees and beg if I need to.
Alana closes her eyes and takes in some deep breaths. “Okay. Only if you promise me something?”
“Anything!” I answer quickly.
“If it doesn’t work out, forget about me and concentrate on the baby.”
“I can’t promise that. I could never forget about you because without you there is a part of me missing,” I argue, my heart breaking even at the mere thought.
“You need to promise me, Ezra! Baby first, no matter what, or there is no point in trying to work things,” she insists, staring me dead in the eyes.
