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“Yes. I have signed a six-month lease on it. The first three months are paid,” he counters firmly.
“What the hell, Ezra? You shouldn’t have done this without asking me. What were you thinking?” I whimper, feeling terrible because he has spent more money on me, and I don’t want that. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, but he had no right. He should have asked.
He crosses his arms over his chest, a stern gaze on his face. “I was thinking I take care of what is mine. It isn’t up for discussion, Alana. I have rented this place for you.”
“It is up for discussion, Ezra. You better find a way to get out of the lease because I am not accepting it. I understand you want to take care of me, Ezra, I really do, and I appreciate it, but this is way too much. It makes me feel like I am taking advantage of you.” I groan in frustration, running my fingers through my hair.
“Are you seriously angry at me right now?”
He looks hurt and I have a pang of guilt hearing the sadness in his words. “I wouldn’t say I am mad at you, no. I am annoyed with you. Ezra, it would be best if you hadn’t done this. I am not staying here, so you should find some way to either get out of the lease or rent it to someone else,” I whisper, not even wanting to imagine how much a place like this would cost monthly.
Ezra closes his eyes, drawing in a breath and pinching the bridge of his nose. “I am not going down this road with you again, Alana. Why won’t you let me take care of you?” He is trying to stay calm, but his voice is breaking. He sounds agitated with me.
“I do let you take care of me, Ezra, but there is such a thing as too much. I don’t even want to think about the amount of money you have spent on me already, never mind renting here. How much is it a month?” I ask, knowing he probably won’t tell me.
“The price doesn’t matter. What did you expect me to do? Stand by and watch as your entire life falls apart. Let you run away from me? Have you staying out on the street? Tell me, Alana, would you have rather I didn’t do those things, huh?” he snaps, hitting his breaking point.
“I would have worked something out. I always do. I didn’t ask you to do anything for me.”
I don’t mean to snap back or sound like a complete bitch who doesn’t appreciate everything he has done for me. The thought of me needing someone in any way is something I still struggle with. I have always done everything alone, and a part of me still doesn’t understand why Ezra wants to do so much for me.
“No, you didn’t ask. So why have you convinced yourself you are taking advantage of me?” His voice is calmer, softer now.
“Because to me it is what it feels like. I can’t take this apartment. I won’t,” I protest, shaking my head.
Ezra reaches for me, but I step away, and I see pain flash in his eyes. “I need a minute.” I sigh, walking away from him.
He yells after me. “ALANA, STOP!”
I am probably overreacting, but I am overwhelmed, and I need a moment away from him to process everything. I place my hand on the doorknob.
“Alana, please don’t walk away from me,” Ezra pleads from behind me.
I stop and slowly turn to face him, resting against the door. He stares at me, the worry evident on his face. “Don’t leave me, angel.”
“Ezra, I am not leaving you. I need time to process this. Why can’t you see all of this is too much?” I ask softly.
“Because I fucking love you, okay?” he blurts out, and then panic takes over his face once he realizes what he has told me.
I freeze, not expecting those words to come from his lips. They are the last words I thought I would hear. He loves me. I open my mouth to try to speak, but nothing comes out. I am lost for words.
“A-A-Alana, p-p-please say something,” he stutters, fearful.
I try to answer, but again, nothing comes out. A sadness fills his eyes. He shakes his head, walking away. “I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m sorry. You can leave if you want.” He steps back out onto the balcony.
He believes I don’t feel the same. I take a couple of deep breaths, pull myself together and head towards him, re-joining him on the balcony.
“Ezra,” I say cautiously, unsure of what mood he will be in, especially if he thinks I rejected him.
“Hmm.” Is the only sound that comes from his lips, and he doesn’t make eye contact with me.
I rest my hand over his. “Please, look at me,” I whimper.
He hesitates but does. “What?” he hisses.
I wince at his reaction, not expecting it I pull my hand away. “Don’t you dare get mad at me. You didn’t even give me a chance to speak!” I exclaim, shaking my head.
He runs his fingers through his hair, letting out a loud sigh. “Sorry. How do you expect me to react? I poured my heart out to you, Alana, and you said nothing.”
