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Jonah…
He did eventually grow on me, but I don’t think I had anything to do with that.
I think that’s more due to his sigma nature being amiable. He never comes off as threatening anymore.
But this fucking new guy. Rook. Man witch. Asshole.
Just thinking about him makes my knuckles itch, makes my fangs ache to tear him apart.
The audacity to suggest that I need therapy…
The fact that he was right only makes me hate him more.
“Now, it’s no excuse, Rafe. We don’t all get to go around doing only what our designations dictate. But it’s completely understandable that you’re experiencing difficulty with your mate’s boyfriends.”
“Right, so what do I do? I can’t keep beating up her mates.” Not that Rook gave me a chance.
Asshole sucker punched me with a magic ball of lightning or something.
“I think the first step is treating those possessive impulses as something separate. They are not you. They aren’t who you are intrinsically. If they were, you wouldn’t be here trying to move beyond them.”
Huh.
That sounds pretty doable, actually.
But…
Dismissing the crazed voice in my head that wants me to smash anyone who comes within ten feet of Willa as a threat? “I don’t know, doc. Won’t that make me less vigilant about her safety?”
The alpha doc leans forward, holding my stare with a powerful alpha glare of his own.
Finding an alpha psychiatrist was as difficult as it was important.
I didn’t want a no-nonsense beta telling me to breathe deep because they didn’t understand what I was going through.
How could a beta ever understand what it’s like to be overcome with the urge to tear the limbs off anyone who even breathes in your mate’s direction?
No. That would never work. So, when I realized I was the problem, I spent most of last night searching for an alpha with a psychiatry degree.
Alone.
Because I have to fix this issue on my own.
I won’t put myself in a position to harm one of Willa’s mates again. It so easily could have been Rook knocked out or broken in some way.
He only barely beat me to the draw.
And I won’t hurt her like that.
“No. You must isolate the thoughts about Willa’s other mates from everyone else, from general awareness and pack buzz. You’ll still see threats, but in time, the ones your alpha brain sees inside your circle will stop ringing all the alarm bells.”
“OK. Think of the impulse to smash my mate’s mates as something separate from myself. What else?”
“Give that impulse a name. Personify it into the worst kind of person you can imagine. Then, when it tells you to do something the real Rafe doesn’t truly want to do, you can dismiss it as the mad ravings of that person who sometimes shouts absurdities from inside your head.”
“Uh… I’m gonna need you to spell that out a little better.”
“Right. Well, for example, my female clients seem to be fond of the name Chad and envision a drunken frat guy telling them something to the equivalent of ‘come on, baby, just the tip.’”
