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Jake and Matt looked at each other, their weird psychic-twin-communication-thing passing between them. Jake nudged Matt with the toe of his sneaker a little, and Matt gave the smallest nod. They both turned to face us.
“We were talking about what we want for our birthday…” Matt started. He shifted and shoved his thumbs in his pockets, looking exactly like his father for a split second.
“Okay,” I said.
Andrew sat up straighter. He’d been looking through financial reports for the business while I sat in my rocker and worked on the boys’ sweaters for Christmas next year. He set the pencil down and gave them his full attention.
Matt looked back to Jake for reassurance, and must have found whatever he was looking for in his brother’s eyes. He looked back to us and said the absolute last thing I ever expected to come out of his mouth.
“We really want a little sister.”
Andrew coughed. My heart stopped for a split second.
“And we know dad’s still looking for ourbigsister.”
“Yeah but big sisters aren’t as much fun. We want alittlesister.”
“Well it doesn’t matter because he can’t find her. But… you guys can have another baby, right?”
“Uh,” stammered, trying to figure out what to say to all this. Glancing over at Andrew, I saw he had an amused look on his face.
The boys did know their father was looking for the daughter who had been stolen from him years ago, but it never seemed to phase them. I also knew Andrew had mentioned having more kids… several times.
I set my knitting down and folded my hands, trying to keep my reaction at a minimum. “Well. Your father and I can…talkabout that. But boys, your birthday is a month away, and you have to understand, we can’t just… go get you a sister.”
“Oh, we know that,” Jake nodded. “You have to have sex first.”
I opened my mouth, speechless. Beside me, Andrew put his elbow on the table, covering his mouth with his hand.
They were seven. We had not had this conversation.We did not want to have this conversation.
Matt raised his shoulders a little, looking anxious. “But you guys have sex all the time, so that should be fine, right?”
“Hey, wait a minute… ” Jake’s face filled with concern, and he turned to his brother. “If they have sex all the time, whydon’twe have a sister?”
“Yeah…” Matt’s face fell, making a complete mirror image of Jake’s. They turned back to us in confusion.
I glanced at Andrew. His hand was still covering his mouth, but his eyes twinkled. The bastard was laughing at me.
I gave him a look that said,deal with your sons.
He gave me a look that said,no way, this is too much fun to watch.
Fine. I straightened and looked at my boys. They needed to know this eventually anyway, and the sooner we dealt with it, the less awkward it would be. Right?
“Well… your father and I are responsible adults,” I started. My beloved husband shook from a single repressed laugh that he turned into another cough, but I ignored him. “So we use birth control.”
“What’s that?” they asked at the same time.
“I take a pill… and he wears a condom.”
“What’s a condom?” Matt cocked his head.
“Uh… it’s like a plastic sack. It goes around your penis and catches… everything.”
Matt wrinkled his nose. “Sounds uncomfortable.”
“It’s not,” Andrew said.
