Page 61 of A Reason to Stay


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Oh, now you jump in.

Jake sighed dramatically. “Well, can youpleasehave sex without a condom so we can have a sister.”

Andrew lost it, standing from his recliner and rubbing at his jaw to swallow his laughter. He went to the fridge to grab a beer.

This conversation needed to end before my husband made promises we couldn't keep. “Boys, you know if I do get pregnant, we can’tchoosea sister. You might end up with a brother.”

“But we want a sister!”

“It doesn’t work that way,” I said. “You get what you get.”

“Why do you want a little sister?” Andrew asked as he sat back down with his beer.

They shrugged, mirror images of each other. Jake jumped in. “They’re pretty, and fun, and Anna is pretty cool, and Brad had a little sister and she’s really fun to play with.”

“She won’t come out fun to play with, you know,” I sighed, leaning forward in my rocker and putting my elbows on my knees so I could look them in the eye. I remembered four months of colic, a house that smelled like poop, and never beingable to get enough food or sleep. “You’ll have ababysister for quite a few years before she’s any fun to play with.”

“Oh, we know,” Matt said.

“Yeah. We’ll wait. It’ll be worth it.”

My heart swelled a little.

To be honest, Andrew and I had only barely talked about having more kids. I loved the boys, but I had four more classes left to finish my degree, and I doubted I could do that with a baby and twins who never stopped moving. But he was always the one who started the conversation, and he’d brought it up a few times over the past few years… more than a few times.

I glanced at him again. My gut told me to shut this conversation down and have a heart to heart with my husband.

Andrew was staring at me like he wanted to beg right alongside the boys.

I tore my gaze away. “Kids are pretty expensive, you know,” I said.

“Oh, we already talked about that,” Jake said. “We decided we would quit football, so our sister could do something fun too.”

“Yeah we don’t need to do footballandhapkido.”

“Yeah but weneedto do hapkido.”

“Yeah ’cause we have to protect her.”

Well, that about did it for my heart. I glanced at Andrew, and he was staring at the boys with a new kind of respect, or adoration. He set his beer down, stood up, and tucked his hands in his pockets. “Go outside,” he said quietly, nodding to the back door.

“What?” I said. “Wait. Why?”

“Why?” they asked, too much hope in their faces.

“Go outside,” he said again, and fixed his eyes on me. He took a few steps my way.

“Andrew,” I muttered.

“Yes,” Jake pumped his fist.

Matt nearly jumped up in the air. “Are you guys going to have sex without a condom?”

“Go outside,” Andrew and I said at the same time.

They grinned, grabbed each other’s hands, and whooped as they ran for the back door.

Wait for it…slam.

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