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So for now, I’ve rented a room at the local motel for the next week until I can figure shit out. It hurts to know Madison left without telling me, but we’re all in horrible headspaces right now. I can’t expect her to make sound decisions. None of us can.
While sitting in my motel room, I text Madison. I need to see her.
Asher: Hey can i come over?
Madison: Hey i’m not in SC. i went home
Asher: Ik, ur dad told me. im home too
Madison: Ur home too?
Asher: I can’t stay in SC w/o either of u
Madison: :( r u next door rn?
Asher: No, i’m at the motel in Banks county
Madison: Ok, pick me up?
Asher: Be there in ten
After a quick shower and change of clothes, I drive over to my childhood neighborhood. I pull into their driveway and look next door to my house. What for? I don’t know. It's always the same. Empty and desolate looking, no one around or home. My mother is too concerned with her job and her latest conquest than to take care of where she lives.
I shoot Mads a text I’m here and she’s outside soon after and climbing into my truck.
I notice she’s wearing Mason’s clothing and my stomach twists. The hoodie and sweatpants are familiar and I remember him wearing them not long ago. The clothes are baggy on her but she looks comfortable.
She also looks tired as hell. Just like how I look. Pure exhaustion. Dark circles color the skin beneath her eyes and her face is thinner, as if she’s lost even more weight.
But none of it matters. Because to me, she’s still as beautiful as ever.
“Hi.” I say, breaking the silence first, an unusual feat for me.
“Hi.”
As I reserve my truck, I wait for her to say more. All that’ll come out of my mouth is question after stupid question and I’m pretty sure the last thing Madison wants are more questions.
I don’t know where I’m going so I just drive, following all of the roads I used to take in high school. It feels weird being back, like nothing and so much has changed all at once.
“Can you go to our spot?” Mads asks.
I nod and turn in the direction of the shore. It doesn’t take long before I’m turning into the beach parking lot, a flood of memories hitting me from every direction.
Most of our childhood was spent at this beach. It was where we spent our summers as kids, and where we came to hang out with our friends as teens. It’s where we practiced driving and Mason spun wheelies in the gravel. It’s where we came for the Fourth of July, graduation parties, birthday beach bashes, and bonfires.
When I park the truck, I kill the engine and lean back in my seat. Madison doesn’t say anything and neither do I. I look out to shore and watch the memories playing in my head like a movie reel.
Is it too early to say them out loud?
Is it too soon to talk about him?
I won’t know until I try.
“Remember when Mason got so drunk at the beach bonfire party on the jungle juice punch?” I lift one corner of my mouth up in a half ass attempt to smile.
Madison looks at me and I brace myself for her blow out.
But it never comes.
