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“And he puked for like an hour straight?” Madison actually cracks a smile and a tiny piece of my heart mends.
“Yup, moaning and groaning the whole time that he would never drink again.”
“Everyone knew that was a lie.”
We both laugh a bit and it feels so weird. Wrong almost.
“It feels good talking about him.”
“Yeah,” Madison nods and a piece of hair falls across her face. “It does.”
I reach across the center console and hold out my palm to her. She looks at it, then at me, before she places her warm hand in mine. When my fingers wrap around hers, it’s soothing, like a balm for the pain.
It’s then I realize I need her help to get through this.
And I think she needs me too.
ChapterThirteen
Madison
The days go by and all I can manage are my runs. I don’t leave my room much, except when my parents are around. The living room and kitchen hold so many memories, it’s hard not to think about them all.
I avoid Mason’s room like the plague. The door remains shut, only my dad having the strength to venture in there. I can’t even look at the door without tears filling my eyes.
My dad went back to work. My mom tried to but ended up taking an extended leave.
We spend a lot of time together, either watching bad reality tv or sitting outside and reading. More like she reads and I stare off into space.
“Maybe you should try journaling? Help clear your head.” My mom offers one afternoon in November. I left school a month ago and it feels like just yesterday.
Now the holiday season is approaching and it’s suffocating. How can I enjoy Thanksgiving and Christmas without Mason? Halloween was a bust. Asher and I watched scary movies all night until we fell asleep.
“Yeah maybe. I just don’t know who I am without him.”
My mom reaches across the table and places her hand on my arm. “Oh sweetie. I’m so sorry. I can only imagine how you’re feeling right now. You two have been attached at the hip since you were born.” She smiles wistfully. A memory must be running through her mind and I’m jealous. I want to hear it.
“Please tell me the memory.”
“How’d you know I was remembering?”
“The look on your face said it all.”
Mom smiles. “I was picturing the two of you as toddlers. Always into something. Double trouble I used to say.”
Her words bring back my own memories of growing up with Mason. I remember everyone always called us the double trouble duo and we loved it.
“Were we always close with each other?” I ask.
“Yep. People used to say eventually you two would fight. Siblings always fight, right? So I waited to see when you guys would go through that phase, but it never happened. Of course there was the occasional fight over a toy but for the most part you too got along great. You always played together and I would find you on the couch napping together. Even as you got older and you made other friends, the two of you were still always close. I told your father I loved how close our children were and that I hope your friendship never stopped.
Her words stir some emotions inside me and I swallow past the thickness of my throat.
“He was my best friend, Mom. And he still is and always will be. I just don’t know how I’m supposed to move on with my life without him here.”
“I know, sweetie. I feel the exact same way. So does your father. We never expected something like this to happen. No one ever does. But now we have to come together and get through this together. I feel like it’s the only way.”
I look into her eyes, and I see nothing but love and sincerity and I’m thankful in that moment for parents that care. They may have pushed us growing up. But they just really wanted us to succeed. They’ve always been here for us and for that I’m grateful.
