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“Don’t worry about it,” Birgitta said, reaching over to clutch her daughter’s limp hands. “It’s not for everyone, Julia. If you want to get a loan, get one.”
Julia frowned as if she was expecting more of a fight. “Really?” She asked. “Won’t Papa be mad?”
Birgitta shrugged. “Does it matter?” She asked. “Just look at you. You’re exhausted. You can’t live your life like this.”
Julia let her head sink down until her cheek was resting against the wood, squishing her face until she was covered in wrinkles.
“Just because we did it doesn’t mean you should,” Birgitta said. “I look back at those days with joy because they were great parts of my life. But living it? I was miserable. It’s hard. And, really, having some student debt wouldn’t have made much difference.”
Julia looked up from the table, her blue eyes wide and clear. “You think so?”
Birgitta nodded. “Life is too short for you to be unhappy, baby,” she said gently, allowing her hand to smooth down Julia’s messy hair. “Do whatever you want. It’s your life.”
“Thanks, Mama,” Julia said quietly.
“No need to thank me,” Birgitta said. “What are your plans for today?”
Julia shrugged, keeping her head against the table. “I’m tired,” she said. “I might sleep.”
“I have a better plan,” Birgitta said. “You drink up that coffee, then we go for a run.”
Julia’s eyes almost popped out of her head. She managed to sit up and stared her mother in the eyes with shock. “Outside?” She scoffed, incredulous. “In this weather?”
Birgitta couldn’t help but smile at her soft, gentle daughter. “Yes,” she said. “A little cold won’t kill you.”
“No, but the running might,” Julia laughed.
It didn’t take Julia long to abandon her coffee for her bed, leaving Birgitta alone once more. Birgitta didn’t waste any time. Once she was dressed in thick layers of baggy sweats, she jogged out into the world.
For as long as she could remember, Birgitta had jogged to clear her mind and center herself. When all else failed, that had always worked. Feeling her muscles burn and ache, feeling shudders run through her body as her feet connected with the ground, the smell of the fresh air being sucked into her lungs—it all helped.
Only, it didn’t help today. When Birgitta found herself back at her front door, her face hot and her breaths misting out of her mouth, she felt more frustrated than ever. She was covered in sweat from her workout, but it wasn’t the kind of workout she needed. She needed a man between her legs, working his magic on her with his mouth, his hard cock.
That was never going to happen, though. Kent barely ever wanted to touch her, let alone wrap his warm mouth around her pussy and suck until he was blue in the face. Birgitta got herself into the shower as soon as possible, hoping that the warm water would cleanse her skin and mind.
To her dismay, it didn’t. She got out of the shower with dripping hair and moist, squeaky clean skin. The frustration wasn’t gone, though. It was still right there, beneath the surface. She tried to suppress her anger as much as possible but there was no way she was keeping the beast contained. It was going to come out sooner or later unless she could manage to orgasm.
The hours passed her by in a painfully slow daze. Birgitta tried to sit and watch TV but it was too mindless to distract her. She tried to browse websites on her phone but that didn’t work either. The only thing that helped was moving around, stomping her feet and sighing loudly to let her family know about her displeasure.
Just after lunch, Birgitta was standing over the coffee machine, fiddling with it as she tried to refill it. Nothing was working. The filter wouldn’t get into the compartment. The coffee grains were sprinkling everywhere, making a mess of her counters and floors. The lid didn’t want to fasten back in place, constantly slipping and sliding over the top instead of slotting in nicely like it was supposed to.
Birgitta could feel the rage growing inside her, threatening to spill out. She controlled herself and ignored the urge to punch the top of the machine with her closed fist.
“Mama,” she heard from behind her.
Just like that morning, Julia was standing on the cusp of the kitchen, her arms wrapped around her body. “What’s the matter?”
“I’m just...” Birgitta sighed and moved away from the coffee machine. “I can’t get this damn thing working.”
Julia smiled at her mother and wordlessly crossed the kitchen, heading for the machine. Birgitta stepped aside and allowed her daughter to take over.
“What’sreallywrong?” Julia asked, her back turned to her mother.
“I’m just stressed from work,” Birgitta said. “This is our busiest time of year.”
“Mhm,” Julia said as the lid of the machine clicked into place. “And that’s all, Mama?”
Birgitta paused, not really sure what else to say. Of course, she couldn’t tell her daughter the truth. What the hell would Julia say if she heard her mother complaining about her father? She’d feel forced to choose sides and that wasn’t something Birgitta wanted to put her only baby through.
