Page 18 of Forgive My Sin


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“Good, because we need to talk to you about something else, but first, I really fucking need to feel your lips on mine,” Levan states, sounding angry, but he doesn’t look it as he licks his lips.

Dragging the chair closer to him, he spreads my knees apart, grips the front of my shirt, and pulls so we meet in the middle. “You okay,chemo sikharulo?” I love it when he calls me that. I feel special.

“Yes, Daddy Levan.” His eyes widen, and a wicked grin spreads over his lips. I don’t know where that came from.

“You keep calling me that, and I’m going to bury myself in your slick little cunt before you know it.” I don’t get a chance to respond as he takes my lips in a punishing kiss.

Devouring my mouth, his free hand wraps around the back of my neck. Holding me in place, he maneuvers my head to his liking, sweeping his tongue inside my mouth when I gasp for air, stealing the near-silent plea that escapes my throat. I get lost in his touch and the way he makes my heart pound. It pulls me out of my head to enjoy this moment. This craving I have to please these men is so ingrained in my bones that I don’t know how to process it.

I want everything, while, at the same time, not knowing what everything is. I don’t understand what it’s like to have a mutual relationship with one man, let alone three, but it’s my greatest desire to find out and please them.

“I can’t breathe,” I whisper when Levan draws back slightly, our panting breath mingling as he licks across my lips.

“Breathless looks fucking good on you,chemo sikharulo.” This time I let my smile shine. Despite my worries, I do feel good when I’m with these men, when they’re touching me. The praise is new. I had no idea how intimate it could be until they started telling me what things I was doing that they liked. “You need to know.” He brushes the hair back from my face, and I spy Zak still standing where he was, and Val is now eye-level on the other side of me, all of them giving me their undivided attention. “This, the four of us, it’s not some passing thing. Years ago, Val, Zak, and I decided that if we were to ever settle down, it would be with one woman we all shared. Together.”

Furrowing my brow, I’m uncertain how to respond. I figured they wanted a physical relationship, but I didn’t think they’d want forever. Not with me.

“Do you understand,chemo dzvirpaso?” Val asks, and I give him my attention as I nod my head.

“Why me?” Until yesterday, I hadn’t seen them in years. How could they possibly know I’m what they want? “I’m a nobody.”

Zak growls as he touches my chin and turns my face towards him. “I fucking hate when you say things like that. You are worth everything,sakhvarelo,fucking everything to the three of us. Fuck what anybody else believes.” My eyes lower at the ferocity of his words. Hiding my emotions has become second nature. But I don’t think I’ll get away with that around them.

“I haven’t had anyone care about me in a long time. It’s hard to accept.”

“We know,” Levan responds. “That’s why we want absolute honesty. All the time. No matter what you’re thinking or how bad you think repercussions will be, we always want to know what’s on your mind.”

* * *

Zakar

Watching Abilene tiptoe around the house, trying to stay out of everyone’s way while she refamiliarizes herself with her surroundings, is far more disconcerting than I had imagined. All it does is remind me of the years we spent away from her. It reminds me of the abuse she’s been forced to live through. It could have been avoided if we hadn’t been hurting so badly after Yelena’s death and the turmoil that Levan andBebiasuffered through for so long.

They’re not fully healed, none of us are, and I don’t believe we ever will be from how it all went down, but we have learned to cope with it. To move forward with our lives and accept that there wasn’t much we could have done. For so long, it felt like an inevitability, and it’s partially the reason for our decision to share one woman. She’ll never be left unprotected. One of us will always be with Abilene.

Like now.

Levan is busy with a phone call while Valerian is off double-checking security around the house, and I’m left to follow along behind Abi as she wanders from room to room, never staying in any one place for long. Sometimes, she’ll mutter something to herself, and from the look on her face, I can tell it’s a memory of her and Yelena. Other times, she’s looking back for me, reassuring herself that I’m still with her. The only reason I’m not at her side and touching her is that this is her first time exploring since she left for the last time.

She needs the space to grieve and remember her friend without me there to witness every emotion, every thought. So I remain in doorways or out of sight until we come to a halt in one of the upstairs hallways.

Beyond a colorful door painted with the brightest sunflower is Yelena’s bedroom. It’s remained exactly as it was the day she went missing. Aside from being dusted each week, everything in there stays as she left it.

I’ve often wondered how healthy it was for Levan andBebiato have kept the room as a reminder, but I understand neither would have approved of it being cleaned out, or at least cleaned up, until they were ready. I don’t blame them one bit. I’ve been part of Levan’s household since I was a teenage boy watching Yelena grow up. She was like a little sister to me as well. Losing her was more challenging than when I killed my parents for abusing me as a child.

I’ve been a cold-hearted bastard my entire life. Yelena was the sunshine in my murky world. Abilene the warmth. The two of them gave me life in a myriad of ways for so many years. Sometimes, I feel twinges of guilt for my attraction to Abilene as a woman because I never felt this way when she was just a girl. She’s grown since then into a beautiful masterpiece that I can’t imagine an existence without.

“You can go in,” I tell her from a few feet away as she traces the sunflower’s petals.

“Does anyone?” Her voice is subdued but drifts down the hallway, echoing off the walls for all to hear but remaining unobtrusive.

“Ana cleans weekly,” I explain.

Her head turns to glance at me, and I see the sadness in her eyes. “What about Levan…Bebia?”

“Levan will open the door once in a while, but he never enters. I don’t know aboutBebia.” The old bird could sleep in there, and I’d likely never even know about it. She’s cool as a cucumber and only makes noise when she feels the desire to be heard. Her time is mainly spent with Ana because they’ve known each other for so long.

“And you?” Her hand is poised on the doorknob. I can tell she wants to open it, but I’m willing to bet she’s afraid. Entering a room appearing like a shrine has to be hell on her nerves.

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